Hi everyone!

I (27) have been posting on here quite a bit lately and that's because things are getting really real. Been with SO (32) for about a year and some change—we met at a wedding, did long distance, planned on moving to his city, coincidentally got a job offer in his city so considered it a sign and moved to be with him and SS, who is currently 2 1/2.

BM and SO were dating for 4 months before she got pregnant and separated three months after their son was born. She lived with him in a separate bedroom for almost a year after that. She now works as a live-in nanny where the family pays her room and board but was just fired for not following the house rules. (keeping the place clean, etc.) She has until July to find a new house / new job. She is also bipolar and chooses not to take her meds because she feels as though she is misdiagnosed. Meanwhile, she is going to school to get a BA. My SO watches their son about 60-70% of the time, but they currently have a 50/50 non-legal agreement. BM often asks SO to watch their son, so he ends up having him more. They've both never seen lawyers until now.

BM wants things the way they are, SO is going for primary custody. Here are my questions:

1. What questions should we be sure to ask the attorney?

2. What should we make sure goes into the agreement? SO and I talk about moving in the next year or two. BM doesn't want to move for another 4, but she also changes her mind about this about every month.

3. How long (on average) might this take?

4. What are the possible outcomes?

5. How can I be supportive while still being respected?

6. And one of the hardest questions...How could this affect our relationship? Let me be clear: I want what is best for SS. But my SO has been asking me to move in since November and moving in would really change things. (Again, I'm 27, SO is 32) I love SS, but I also love the nights when it's just me and SO. Is it unfair for me to want him to acknowledge that we would lose this? Don't get me wrong: yes, I want what's best for SS, so I am keeping my mouth shut. I don't expect SO to do otherwise. BUT I would like him to acknowledge my feelings throughout this process. He says things like "I know this must be hard for you..." but it rarely goes deeper than that.

7. ADDITIONAL QUESTION: Can our relationship negatively affect the custody battle? Or anything I do? We don't live together. What if we broke up?

Thank you in advance!