SO and I just had the most amazing weekend off the grid—we planned the adventure together, had so much fun, deep and beautiful bonding, talking to an older married couple (also blended family) who provided sweet pearls o' wisdom...My heart melting.

Back on Sunday.... Traffic was awful and SO was an hour late to pick up his babe, age 2. BM yelled in the front yard, saying he never ever respects her time, is always late. He is (I think) purposely pushing her buttons because she treats him like a babysitter and drops off their son whenever she feels like she needs a break / has other obligations. (They have a 50/50 agreement, but lately SO has been watching him more and more.)

Okay, that's one thing. Watching them fight in the front yard. Go inside, offer to take his son so he's not watching this madness, but BM doesn't want me to. Cool--she's the mama. I respect that. Go inside, let out dogs, try to make things nice for when SO and his babe come inside. They do, we have dinner, watch Planet Earth, play cars, awesome laughs all around.

BM and SO used to live together.... BM (I've written about this before) has a TON OF USELESS CRAP ... weird knickknacks passed down from her Grandma. SO has FINALLY taken it all down the basement because BM has no place for it and I agreed we could keep it in the basement until he moves. However, some of the stuff doesn't fit and her left it on his front porch for her to pick up. One week ago. It's still there. Instead of fighting, I say "I'm about to me mad at you. This stuff needs to go. We need to set boundaries."

SO agrees. I live separately and am praying it won't be there when I come back this weekend.

Tonight SO and I are talking--he casually brings up that BM is on his life insurance as one of his beneficiaries. He wonders/talk about if his son can be a beneficiary instead... And then he jokes about how funny it would be to make his mother the beneficiary so BM has to deal with her. They never got along.

I get upset and say how uncomfortable I am. Not because she is his beneficiary but because she is EVERYWHERE. And the fact that he wants to annoy her seems like unresolved feelings toward her. Hence the fighting in the yard and finding it funny to make her interact with his mom.

She's joked about their past sex life to me. Told me she would always love him "as her son's father." I have to see her stuff everywhere. And yes, in this instance, maybe I overreacted... But I'm sick of sharing my boyfriend with this woman.

And I read all the posts here and I wonder—does it get easier? I love my partner, I love his son, I want to be the woman that can gracefully be a stepparent. But I'm literally having nightmares about this woman. I'm sick of her invading our simple little phone conversations. I'm sick of him talking about her.

SO says I'm being inconsistent—That one second I invite his vulnerability and honesty and others I don't want to hear it. But god, there has to be a balance, right? If the shoe was on the other foot, could HE handle me talking about one of my exes this much? Am I being unreasonable? Am I just not strong enough?

Thanks for listening. Too exhausted to proofread. Sorry for any typos. :(