I’m not okay at all right now.

Found out on my partner and I’s 3rd anniversary that his daughter (16f) was drawing sexually implied or explicit art revolving her dad. This after finding DD/LG and dad incest eroticas that were written on notebook paper when she was about 14. Recently discovered she was behind my missing clothes, lingerie and dildo.

I had looked in her room all over, even behind the dressers. I almost didn’t check under the mattress but there was my intimate items and then some I didn’t even recognzie. Freaking gross. I felt violated. I told my partner after a couple of weeks and he was disappointed and disgusted. He’s noticed her being suddenly hateful to me the past few months (a couple months before she turned 16 she started being aggressive and rude with me for no reason). I wanted to talk to her right away with him but he didn’t want to, saying we should wait 3 weeks when he had 10 days off from work - he would have time to find her a therapist and talk to her.

His time off comes and he keeps making excuses to not talk to her. It’s been 2 weeks since I’ve mentioned him not talking to her so after I asked her to change out of my pajama pants into her own clothes, and she responded by saying I’m not her mom, we went off. She made hurtful comments and so did I - I told her she was an f’ing monster and I hate being in her life. It was wrong, but she’s been lying to everybody that I’m abusive and she doesn’t want me here anymore. Turns out she feels like she doesn’t need to respect me, especially now that she’s older and I’m not her mom.

I left the house and called her best friend’s mom who met me for coffee. It was eye opening. SD is a menace. Mom friend offered to pick SD up and SD declined so my partner and I decided to talk to her, finally (her phone was supposed to be taken after this, dad finally punishing her) but it didn’t go well. She just kept lying.

She demanded a polygraph test and DNA test on the items… trying to blame it on someone who hasn’t been in the house in 11 months and I honestly just can’t believe her delusion.

Partner left with her, breaking up with me for calling her disgusting and a liar… but was okay with her calling me a “f—-ng psycho b——“ because I was being a cunt… for calling her out. Oh also because she doesn’t want me at the house and he can’t kick her out so that means I have to clean. Having her punishment.

Idk what her fixation with telling me I’m not her mama is. I don’t want to be her mama & if I had kids, they would NOT act like her. Also, neither her mama nor her dad really want to deal with her because she is CONSTANT drama, constantly lying and seeking attention, she’s past the normal teenage girl issues. I’ve been avoidant (perceived as hateful by my partner) of her to avoid being angry.

I showed my resentment during the confrontation but mostly frustration. I asked her repeatedly to let me speak and be respectful and she would smugly say that she doesn’t respect me. A gut punch since I have been over and beyond for her. When she kept saying, “you’re not my mom”, I asked her where she was? She went N.C. by choice. I supported that. But to discredit the amount of effort I’ve put into her. I paid for her to do local theater, drove her to the rehearsals, encouraged her to do more shows, and even offered to pay for another after school activity. Her hatred is uncalled for.

I’m broken that she’s like this. I can’t do anything about it. I’m also so hurt by my partner for being complicit in her delusion. I’m not asking him to take sides. I’m asking him to parent her and I don’t know why he isn’t when it is OBVIOUS that she is disrespectful at BEST and disturbed and a criminal at worst so regardless of what she says, she showed her feelings last night and he validated them.