Teen SD lives in a fantasy world. She often tells us of stories about standing up to bullies in class or making a snarky comeback to a teacher that “picks on her”. We have met with teachers due to some of these tales crossing lines of appropriate behavior. Each time she has admitted to fabricating most of what happened. She is very much the kid I fear will never be able to survive on her own, thus never leaving the house. Her mother baby’s her and jumps every time something is wrong. I normally delay responses until I get the full story.

She doesn’t interact with most kids because she has a “high moral compass”. Yet she passes judgement on every teen she comes across before knowing them. Again, she assigns them to character traits in her mind, whether they have them or not.

She has attached herself to me as a step dad. I have been the only consistent male figure in her life. We love each other and get along fine. She gets frustrated when I see through the stories but generally breaks down and admits the truth. I’ve been patient with her and worked with her. She struggled with schoolwork and is now getting A’s and B’s. She has confidence issues and we have worked on better self image and being assertive. I have also communicated with her mom to be less of a helicopter mom and understand I’m there to help.

The advice I’m looking for is multiple parts. Should we have her tested to see if some of this is mental or if she’s on the spectrum? What can I do to help her see people in a better light? What can I do to be a better dad? She always states that she wishes I was her real dad. I always tell her that family doesn’t end with blood. What can I do to not keep failing her?