My energetic body feels like it's falling apart, my physical body doesn't work or feel the way it should. My glimpses behind the veil have singled me out and I can no longer be me. I love that Zen koan that says "two Buddhas who meet along the street will never greet each other because thieves can identify each other perfectly well." That tells me that what I'm going through isn't something foreign or malignant. But I'm so fucked up because I miss my dead mum who died 10 years ago. I don't know who it is that I love so much anymore but I'm scared of this split, or being left behind. You're here to raise the planets vibration and I don't want to stay while my mum's soul ascends with the rest of you and that is killing me.