I'm an energy vampire.

Saying a prayer in my head just causes God to respond to the word "dog" -- meaning, "you are a lesser life form that is not worthy of higher knowledge or attainment".

I don't wish to be an energy vampire. I know I'm not special, I know I'm not a lightworker. But I want to have a beingness in Life which creates an effect around me that means something.

How does God respond to this?

"dog."

I pray all the time. I tell God that I'm sorry and that I'm willing to make changes, and I even point to how much I've tried and how much progress I've made, in spite of all the confusion.

"dog."

I don't want to be this energy vampire. I want to give and take and love and be loved.

"dog."

What do I do?