A girl came in today on her phone and loudly announced she worked at Peet's (two locations a block away, so probably fresh off work), and that Starbucks had shitty coffee and she had tasty Peet's coffee instead of Starbucks swill all day long, so she wanted a peach green tea lemonade instead. K.

Now, it wasn't the first time I've heard peeps who aren't fans of our coffee - it's darkly roasted for maximum consistency and meh quality after all. But it got better.

I rang her up and started pouring green tea into the shaker when I heard this gem - "Oh. My. Gawd. They have superautomatic espresso machines? How pathetic!" Yeah, consistency and speed over quality. I know lots of nice indie shops- "And automatic milk wands?! What kind of idiots does Starbucks employ?"

Bitch, I might work for the Applebee's of coffee, but you work for the Chili's of coffee. We're more similar than you think.

She stayed in our "ugly and uncomfortable" lobby for about an hour afterwards bitching about everything. I'm not sure why she didn't just go to Peet's.