I hosted for the first time as my little brother wanted a meet we would actually be on time for. We had a good turn out and got a good amount of money from the raffle to donate. But I just had so much anxiety about it that I don’t think I ever want to host again. It was a bit disorganized in the beginning and I felt like people blamed me for that. I felt like no one was having fun, I felt like I was getting pulled in all sorts of directions and I couldn’t enjoy any of it. I felt like I wasn’t doing enough and it was disappointing. Maybe I’m over thinking it. Maybe I’m just projecting my feelings and people actually had a good time. All I know is I’m home, I’m exhausted, and I feel like crying.