I am your run-of-the-mill, average, horny man; I see something I like; my body wants it.

The problem is, as a married man with children, I cannot have it. As much as an "open marriage" is tantalizing, I know deep within myself that monogamy is the path I need to follow.

Since I've started this spiritual path, this temptation has jumped to the next level. I'm now in a situation where it's becoming a very real possibility with a mutual friend. I am not a cheater and I am not going to fall into that trap, but now the impulse and the desire is really strong. It's too strong to ignore.

Hence, I am left between a rock and a hard place, forced to look at myself and forced to unravel this subconscious desire to hump anything on two legs.

The obvious answer is "oh it's some mammalian desire to procreate". I think it goes deeper because if I were to follow this impulse, it would blow up my life. I'd be divorced, separated from my children and unable to follow my mission here on Earth. Hence, it's not some animalistic impulse used by nature to propagate my genetics. I am clearly being challenged spiritually.

Part of my mission here on Earth is to define a template lifestyle for future humans. This way of life requires a lot of work to provide for yourself (as opposed to drawing resources from places like Walmart and the grocery stores). Living this way requires so much work, in fact, that one person can do it alone. I need help in the form of other people. It needs to be a collective effort of like-minded individuals.

Hence, a large part of the mission is "How do multiple families live together without killing each other?" Obviously, not wanting to sleep with your best friend's wife is at the top of the list of issues to resolve.

Therefore, the onus of fixing this falls squarely in my lap. I need to go deep within myself and get down into that subconscious program and learn how to change it.

I am not sure exactly how to do that yet, but I am up for the challenge and confident that my higher self and I can make it happen.

Anyway, I just wanted to share this challenge I have encountered on my journey. Expressing it to the world in the form of words makes it more real for me.

Thanks for reading,