I had what felt like somewhat of a NDE at the start of this year and then entered this state where I felt like I was everything ever in complete clarity. Like the Universe experiencing itself. (I'd also fallen down a Esoteric rabbithole the past year and a half.) I've been smoking a fair bit lately bc of anxiety & then really messing myself up because it ends up heightening all my little questions about my concept of self and what reality is and it's pretty much the same cycle. I start getting obsessive and like this nagging feeling within me. Like everything becomes about this. And it's already hard enough to try to be functioning questioning if these spiritual thoughts I'm having really have truth to them or if I have psychosis or something.