I didn't even know my surgery was called a spinal fusion until recently. I had it done at 14. One thursday in eighth grade, I was pumped up because I was getting ready to play basketball comps with my friends. And by the time I was already wearing my team jersey, I was in debilitating pain on the floor and couldn't get up.

Went to the doc and boom. 30 degrees. All I wanted to know was when I could play again, fast forward 1 year later I'm post op learning how to walk again. Here's the kicker tho, I was a bit of a jaded kid. And my recovery and just general feelings about my body didn't help. So I self medicated a LOT. Lots of nicotine. Which I am now finding out is like kryptonite for bone grafting.

And the whole reason I found out is because I'm scared man. So I do the reddit searches. I can feel my body is off. But recently subsidised GP consults in my area is becoming hard to find due to a labour shortage. But I gotta do something, my jaw, my knees, my back, it's all off. The lack of comfort means lack of sleep and abd 48 hours without sleeping (I am on a Vyvanse schedule so it is hard to confront sleep disruptions but I dont function easy otherwise), it PUNISHES with this sort of thing. Sorry for my diatribe. I'm kind of a bit at a loss if I'm being honest. Maybe one of you who were bored/felt enough to read all this can make some sense of it. I need to sleep.

TLDR: fuck