There's so many ways I can start this post... so I know a good amount of people. My contacts and social media are filled with connections of people that I've met once or twice or hang out with occasionally, some friends here and there (although I'm still undecided on what that term actually means).

When it comes to real connections, I feel at a loss. It's something that I don't feel I have and yearn for. It brings me physical discomfort to see big happy friend groups, where they all can hang out at a moment's notice with no barriers or hang-ups. Even a singular best friend that you can call whenever, hang out with at any time, be fully authentic with, act goofy with, cry with. I don't have that and I don't know how to find that. Literally if I had a wedding tomorrow I'm not sure who would come.

How do I work on this? How do people make good real friends and connections? It's a life puzzle I've yet to figure out :/