And first, to be clear, not in life but socially. Generally hard post, on a throw away type account, but would love perspective.

Male, 44. I've been told I'm sensitive (but I don't even know why per se). I have a strong personality (type A). Generally quiet especially in groups. I can lead the heck out of anything (ie get the job done), but perhaps my delivery isn't the one to make everyone like me (i'm not an ahole by any means, just direct). I've had my run ins at work due to this, but I'm good at what I do and again the intentions are valid.

On the surface I'm successful. Great paying job, money in the bank, boat, theater room (passion of mine, built it myself). Beautiful wife of 23 years (married young), and 2 healthy kids.

However i'm lonely. I feel like i have no community. I've been struggling with this for so many years, but COVID isolation has made it even worse.

Personally....

For example, I'm part of a dads/daughter group (I don't love it, I feel like i'm a fraternity that you bring your daughter too, but i'm one of the guys that is left to the side. I have 'friends' I can call but here is the point....no one picks up a phone to say 'hey, whats' up'. Let's play a sport, let's grab a beer. But of course if I invite folks to my house to watch a movie, or go on the boat, of course they are ready. I did a test....stop inviting....does anyone reach out? The answer was what I thought... 'no'. I see and hear about these guys getting together, playing poker, playing a sport, etc. Just not invited. I will get called if someone needs advice though. If we don't reach out to another couple to go out (socially distanced to a restaurant, ie) or to come for a swim, then nada invites to us. I like fishing....i'm starting to buy safety gear as looks like i'll be fishing alone. Another thing that happens to us is we meet couple, introduce to other couple friend, then those couples befriend and leave us out. Happened more than once. This has been like this for over 20 years. I always said on Maslow's hiearchy of needs i never reached 'belonginness and love needs'.

Professionally...

I work for a large Corporation. All work from home (been doing this for 15 years). Over the years, less and less reaching out to say hi...only work items. Today it's next to none.

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For me, I'm starting to 'give up' trying. I oscillate being who gives a f, but also it can be lonely as f. If it weren't for my wife then what? I am thinking about moving just to get out of the community and not be concerned with the folks here and to be honest, not really try in the new place.

Here's the kicker..my older daughter is experiencing the same, just at age 14. We recently went through some issues where she posted inappropriate stuff, as she was looking for attention. Long story short we had to block some friends from her due to bad influences (even the teachers said to us after about the other girls). She is not innocent don't get me wrong. But she has no real friends, has low self esteem and herself wants to end it (she won't do it, but cry for help at the moment....we do have her talking to someone now). She's really sad. I feel helpless here as I'm experiencing the same thing.

My wife talks to others more than I do, as there is mutual reaching out. My youngest daughter everyone loves her, parents and friends. She is very easy going.

In any case, hard post to write, but hoping others have some insight and/or advice.

Thank you.