I've had no real friends or romantic relationships in my life. I've had acquaintances and what not but nothing really solid. I've finally come to the realization that I don't care about people enough to learn more about them. I'll try to ask questions and pretend to care but I think my inability to care about their interests and what not makes the conversations often times more small talk than full on casual conversation. I can have indepth conversations about politics, entertainment, etc. But really trying to get to know people is tough. I often times over share my own story in an attempt to appear like a layered human being. That often turns into awkward moments.

I don't want ramble on too much but I do feel my lack of interest is a problem. I do want friends and relationships. But I know I can't do it being so detatched. I feel more of a voyeur of people's lives than an actual participant in it.