I didn't used to be a vengeful person, not that I remember anyway. I let things go. So much that I was called naive.

But all my nativity has led me to distrust everything and everyone. I have learned how to hold a grudge.

Now days I meet someone and within minutes I find a reason why a person isn't good enough for me. Why? Because this is what the world has taught me.

Defend. Boundaries. End the relationship before they can hurt me. This is all good for the people giving the advice, but it is terribly lonely for the person living it.

Once upon a time I used to live on the streets, I heckled and bartered my way through life. Selling everything except for my body, although my parents had tried.

Now that I've learned that I can speak my value, hold my worth, and uphold my standards, it's been an interesting experience to watch how others tell me that I'm not good enough because I am making them feel undervalued.

Why should I allow someone to belittle me?

I don't go out of my way to be rude, I just don't like it when someone tells me that they don't like who I am, and when I make notice that they said they didn't like me, they act as if I'm the problem.

It's been going on this way for years now. Recently I watched a post on identifying the idiot within the crowd. In it the speaker goes on to say that aggressive speech is one of the mental marks of deevolution.

It is kindness that is the marker of intelligence.

The fact that I have recently felt stupid probably has something to do with the fact that I have been holding on to my anger.

It is my goal to let go of my anger, although I don't know how, and I don't have anyone intelligent enough to talk about HOW to release my upset, so I thought I'd start here.

The people in my life are infuriating. Absolutely beyond my understanding. Yet, they are in my life for one reason or another and I'd rather enjoy them to participate in life with me instead of avoiding me because of bad advice.

So I'm tossing the advice society has given me to the wind 🌬️

Letting go of my grudge for grace.

What does grace look like? Well, it's different from being a push over or a sellout. I think grace is being myself even when it upsets someone else because I give them the grace to be themselves.

This is the greatest gift. And as long as I keep this in mind when they are trying to push me around, I shall give myself the grace to keep smiling. Just kill them with kindness! 😂