I realized something today, i have zero social skills. I am horrible to talk to (or, more accurately, not to talk to cause im cold and hardly say anything most of the time) i have honestly been this way as long as i can remember. Normal people are supposed to want to communicate with others but i just cant. I have friends and i kinda just say whatever garbage crosses my mind with no awareness of how people will take it or i say nothing. I also keep scaring girls away by being too quiet and reserved. Idk how to feel about this or if i should be worried. On the one hand, being alone is calming a peaceful but I also am not sure where i will be in several decades from now due to this.

I know there is all that nonadvice like "expand your horizons" and "talk more" but how do i really do these types of things? Is it a sign i shouldnt if i dont feel an urge to? Like maybe having real connections and a partner could be good but at the same time it seems like a big risk and expension of resources on my end, idk.

Honestly the only reason my friends probablly still talk to me at all is since we have known each other since middle school. I do care about them and enjoy being arround them but idk if they know that with how cold, quiet, reclusive, and flakey i am. I guess i dont feel truly connected to them as a friend should be as sickening as it sounds, i hate myself for even having this thought.