Just venting. I don't think my social anxiety is severe or extreme, it's more background and moderate. And it sucks to experience.

I'm able to socialize, which I'm grateful for. But firstly, I don't get all the cues right so my relationships are always on thin ice. And secondly, I probably over - invest in social dynamics, because I'm starved for things to go well. When they go well I'm on a high, but waiting for them to crash. Even when I'm just waiting for responses, I'm worried what the response will be (and it's usually fine-ish). So the main problem is really just me inventing problems. Anxiety.

Social anxiety probably fuels some conflict avoidance. I worry about fights / conflicts, and I probably don't represent my needs well. So I avoid bringing up problems, in order to avoid "failing" in the conflict. And the underlying problems fester.

So maybe just looking to relate here, and maybe would like some sympathy or "been there" stuff. Just plagued by all these recurring social problems. It's sad and frustrating. And also could be worse.