Really need advice. Female 20s, caught between being an asshole and being a people pleasure. Everything feels like the wrong move.

I somehow reek of something that makes unwell people adore me and idolize me, then lash out or discard me. This has been friends, family, peers, and romantic partners.

I've come to feel like I can't read human beings at all and every single thing must be taken with a grain of salt. This life makes me very sad, since I want people to talk to and confide in.

Every social interaction eventually feels so negative and like I'm being predisposed to more negative encounters.

Recently I tried "putting myself out there 🤪🤪🤪🤪🤪🤪" and made a lovely friend with very distinct shared hobbies. But now they don't wanna talk or be friends anymore cause they said they're hurting me and wasting my time. Aside from my best friend, this seems to be the pattern and my relationships of all kinds are a revolving door. I dont know what to fix about myself to make it stop cause it's damaging my perspective of reality.