Before the pandemic, I felt more connected to people. I was able to find emotional comfort in being around others and I knew how to talk to people even if I was always a huge introvert. Now, I can hardly to talk to people and it's difficult to connect to anyone. My social anxiety is so debilitating that I get nervous anytime I speak to someone and I find myself stumbling all over my words.

It's left me completely alone and to combat the crippling loneliness, I've begun to dissociate every day to the point that I feel as if I'm no longer alive. I want to get back to being able to talk to people again and find comfort in emotional connections. But I'm afraid I've surpassed the point of return. I'm afraid that I'll never be able to connect to anyone ever again and my life will continue on in this way- and I'm not sure how much longer I can handle the loneliness.

I'm not sure how to get myself out of this cycle. I pray everyday to somehow find a way out and learn how to feel alive again, but I fear what little hope I have left will soon run dry. If anyone has any helpful advice I more than welcome it- hell, I desperately need it. I want to get and be better and I'll do whatever it takes to get there.