last night i saw some bands i've always wanted to see, it was a really cool show, lots of extra vocalists showed up it was fun. but miserable for me. talked to an old acquaintance from school for a few minutes then lost him, stood around watching the show but in my head the entire time. i went up to the merch table because i wanted a hoodie and some band members were there but i asked brand of sacrifice for a bodysnatcher shirt, they told me ask them, then i saw a cooler hoodie so i asked bodysnatcher for that, turned out to be a brand of sacrifice hoodie and he goes "you gotta ask them". both bands saw the entire thing, i fumbled my wording and left without anything. it wasn't even because they're famous i just didn't know how it worked and can't talk to begin with. i also have an eating disorder, plus anxiety i drank a beer and threw up before the show even started, made a complete fool of myself. i had literally countless opportunities to meet any of the bands but couldn't, felt too scared, thought i looked lonely and depressed being by myself. i just wish i didn't overthink, i wish i could just exist and enjoy myself. and i wish i had friends to do these things with, i've not had a good day in years i was really hoping it'd be last night.