I'm 3.5 years sober from alcohol. I drank for 7 years an in the final years it was daily and planning my days around drinking. I'm also 6 weeks weed free, and have had an on/off relationship with that for over 18 years. 4 years of which have been sober.

Since 2012 I've lived with daily aches, pains and symptoms born of stress. Had anxiety and depression for over 21 years, diagnosed with ADHD a few years back, and was referred for an Autism assessment, but upon finding out it was a 4 year waiting list, and the fact that 1 year into the referral I chased the progress and the Dr's had lost my referral - I gave up.

After 19 years stuck in office jobs I've switched to care work. It's very rewarding, the clients and company absolutely adores me. Being on the spectrum I find the social aspect of it is leaving me exhausted. As are the 48 hour working weeks. I didn't sign the 48 hour work waiver, as many carers there who I've met and gotten to know work 60-80 hour weeks and they're utterly exhausted.

The past few weeks my cravings for alcohol have skyrocketed. Multiple times a day I'm craving it. I've not felt such prolonged and intense cravings before over such an extended period. Also, most of the carers I get doubled up with smoke and my cravings for tobacco are high too.

Being on the spectrum comes with a hugely increased risk of addictions, as does anxiety/depression and the need to self-medicate.

With this job I get very little free time. I told work I need 2 days off a week, but they change my rota multiple times every week, to the point I don't really know where I'm at because the changes are often within 24 hours of me working.

I think the cravings are coming from needing a way to unwind. Without any substances the only crutch I still have is unhealthy eating. But eating sugar and fat isn't a substitute to being high or drunk.

Tricky one really. I know in my gut this is a career. I could see myself doing care work until I retire. What's tricky is that in the UK the care sector is hugely understaffed, and with an aging population it needs a lot of investment and fundamental changes.

Anyway, I figured I'd post here mostly because I enjoy writing and I find it therapeutic to do so. Since starting this job my self-care routines are slipping quite dramatically. Basics like chores are bad enough. I've read enough about ADHD and Autism to realise that keeping your house, mind and body in order can be an absolute mess. Even keeping up with the basics. I was also doing regular yoga, therapy and massage, but can't afford that at the moment. So I've hit a slump in multiple areas and it's tricky. Also my aches and pains have been a lot worse of late.

Ed