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I’ve spent the last 30 years dealing with anxiety and severe depression, lots of suicidal thoughts over my size and being cheated on because of it. Before anyone asks read my post history, yes it was due to size, don’t ask. During that time, I gave up on myself. Didn’t exorcise, ate garbage, half the time didn’t even brush my teeth. My mentality (despite getting married in that time) was that I’ll never be truly desired, that she was with me out of pity and guilt, not real love. I’m now 47 and it’s all caught up to me. I have diabetes, including diabetic neuropathy in both feet, possible rheumatoid arthritis, and it hurts to even just lay in bed and try to sleep. I’m legally blind without my glasses, being 20/300 in one eye and marginally better in the other eye which lasik can’t help. Due to not giving a shit I’m overweight and my teeth are in horrible condition, lots of cavities and broken ones. I’m dealing with ED as well as apparently being just diagnosed on Friday with pyrones disease since 3 different pills had no effect. Now my next option is to do injections if I ever want to get hard again. If that doesn’t help, my last option is an implant. On top of all this, I’m still stuck in my own head for the most part. I’m trying to gain a more positive view, with the help of my wife, who’s still with me despite all this. If she didn’t love me she would NOT have stayed through all this out of pity, she would have left long ago, and I probably wouldn’t be alive to even type this.
The point of all this is this. I know having a little dick sucks. It feels like god has cursed you personally and is getting a big fucking laugh at your life. But cut that shit out and get out of your own head. Don’t let it bring you as low as I got. It’s not easy, but you have to accept the fact that you will never be the object of the same level of desire and lust as a big dick from random strangers, but you have to get over that. You CAN however find love with someone who’s fine with it, just like you’ll be fine with her/his imperfections. Get out, work on yourself, get fit, take up new hobbies, travel, just get out of your head, seek therapy if needed. And I’m being a little hypocritical saying this, but get off the internet. I’m old enough to have lived before it really existed as a thing, and I was actually kind of okay before. Sad, but it didn’t blow into full self hate until the rise of the net where I could read things about bigger dicks, read people’s reactions to them, watch a shit ton of porn, which just made things worse. The net is absolutely toxic for guys like us.
“Beware my friends, as you pass by. As you are now, so once was I. As I am now, so you must be. Prepare my friends, to follow me.”
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- 5 years ago
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