I have an employee that has been with me almost 2 years. She is really good for the most part. Over the last 8 months her life has fallen apart, she is in a bad way financially after having to find her own place after a breakup. I loaned her the money for move-in costs which she is paying back with her new boyfriend.

I pay her $19.00/hour which I think is fair for an administrative assistant in my area. Today she says that the commute is really hard in her boyfriend and her, their cars are not reliable and gas is killing them. So they want to carpool which is great, but they have different hours. She is asking me to let her switch her hours to leaving earlier and starting earlier in the morning, missing some of our open hours so they can ride together. I asked if he could just wait around an hour or 2 after work for her and she said no, "he doesn't have anything to do". So basically asking me to work around her life because he can't find anything to do for 1-2 hours.

Then she proceeds to tell me that she is completely broke, that she cannot barely keep gas in her car, and if I have noticed she is not eating lunch, implying she can't afford it.

My gut reaction is that she is trying to manipulate me- they are going hungry because they have to pay me back. I'm pretty angry right now, I pay her a fair wage I think. I am pretty easy going, I have loaned her money. And I know she spends money on new clothes, nails and professional hair services, and weed.

I guess my questions are

1. Am I being unreasonable by not wanting to change her hours?
2. Is it overreaching to ask her to show me their budget? I know they cannot be spending everything just on rent, utilities, gas and food. I feel stuck because her financial stress is affecting me and other employees. I don't know how else to address this situation but I don't really want to micromanage.

I want to be fair but not taken advantage of.

I really hate managing people sometimes.