Background

I’ve been struggling lately with a lot of self-doubt. When I’m in a difficult emotional place, I often say, to myself or others, “I just want to be a good girl.” Reflecting on my values, I decided to write a personal code that I could refer to often. This, over time, became what you’re looking at now: A philosophical guide to sluthood.

The book The Ethical Slut had a huge impact on my perspective, as did the Romantic philosophy of the late 18th and early 19th centuries. If you are interested in more specific information about my inspiration, please let me know.

This isn’t as directly sexual as many of the other posts on r/sluttymanifestos. I started writing this before I knew this subreddit existed. However, this is the best place I’ve found to post it.

Introduction

Romanticism teaches us that the sublime exists in all things: in nature, in art, in human connection, and in the pleasures of the body. To embrace the values of pleasure, hospitality, gentleness, stewardship, authenticity, joy, and kindness is to live fully in alignment with this reality. This manifesto outlines a life of rebellion against a world that wants to stifle the soul’s yearning for connection, beauty, and wholeness.

This text celebrates the sensual, the sexual, and the sacred as intertwined. It challenges the notion that sexuality is separate from the rest of life and calls for integration and intentionality.

Pleasure

Pleasure is the act of savoring what the world offers—the feel of silk against the skin, the warmth of a lover's breath, the taste of ripe fruit. Pleasure connects us to life’s inherent beauty and reminds us that to live is to feel. Rather than a hedonistic excess, sluts savor life with depth and presence, preferring intentional and connective pleasure.

Seek Beauty Everywhere. Cultivate an awareness of sensory pleasures in food, touch, nature, and art. Let your life be a symphony of delights.

Slow Down. Rushing to the ‘end’ denies the depth of pleasure. Eat slowly, touch attentively, breathe deeply, delay orgasm. Pleasure demands presence.

Celebrate Your Body. Touch yourself, dress in textures that delight, and move in ways that bring joy. Consider your body as a beautiful work of art to appreciate and share.

Celebrate Without Comparison. Rejoice in other sluts without envy and actively create a culture of mutual admiration.

Hospitality

To open your arms, your home, or your bed to another is a sacred act of inclusion. The slut values connection and the sharing of one’s inner world. Hospitality is the manifestation of this physical and emotional intimacy. Sluts offer comfort to the lonely, soothe the mourner, and embrace the deviant, yet never at the sacrifice of one’s own boundaries.

Create Sacred Spaces. Make your surroundings warm and inviting, whether it’s your bedroom, your conversation, or your presence.

Practice Radical Acceptance. Welcome others as they are, without judgment, in both sexual settings and daily life.

Offer without Expectation. Give your time, affection, and attention freely, but always with healthy boundaries.

Give Your Genuine Presence. When connecting with others, focus entirely on the moment by putting away distractions and showing your full attention to those you are with.

Gentleness

Gentleness is strength channeled through care. It is the caress of wind against skin, the soft murmur of waves on the shore. To be gentle is to respect the fragility and power of others. In a world that often treats sluts poorly, gentleness also reminds us that our own soul deserves tenderness as well.

Speak Softly, Love Loudly. Use your words to uplift those around you. In intimate times, let your touch show both softness and intense passion.

Honor Boundaries. Understand and respect the limits both the limits of others and the ones you set yourself, seeing consent as an extension of gentleness.

Embrace Vulnerability. Gentleness thrives in openness, so allow yourself to be seen fully and hold space for others to do the same.

Own Your Emotions. Take responsibility for your feelings without projecting blame onto others.

Give and Receive Grace. Approach conflict or mistakes with forgiveness and a willingness to grow.

Be Tender in Rejection. Saying no is as important as saying yes. Do it with kindness and respect for the other person’s dignity.

Stewardship

To be a steward is to cultivate, protect, and nurture what is precious. It is an act of love that begins with oneself and extends outward to encompass the people and relationships we hold dear. Sluthood requires seeing our bodies, hearts, and connections as sacred gardens—places of growth, beauty, and renewal that thrive only when tended with care and intention.

Care for Your Body. Treat your body as a sacred landscape: feed it well, keep it healthy, and adorn it in ways that make you feel powerful and beautiful.

Foster Relationships. Intimacy requires tending. Focus on communication, patience, and reciprocity in all interactions, even casual sex.

Nurture Yourself. Stewardship begins within. To care for others and the world, you must first tend to your own mental and emotional well-being.

Cultivate Patience. Understand that relationships evolve over time, and true stewardship requires persistence and care.

Honor Commitments. Follow through on promises or agreements you make within relationships to build trust and reliability.

Authenticity

To be authentic is to be unashamedly yourself, to stand naked, literally or metaphorically, in the face of judgment. The slut cherishes this courage and the rawness of truth. To radically live this life requires expressing and knowing yourself in an intense, yet satisfying way.

Speak Your Desires. Be open and honest about what you want, both sexually and in daily life. Suppressing your needs serves no one.

Live Your Truth. Reject societal expectations that don’t align with your inner values. Dress, act, and love as you see fit.

Value Depth. Prioritize meaningful connections over shallow encounters, even in casual settings.

Accept Change. Authenticity evolves. Allow yourself to grow and redefine your desires and boundaries as you learn more about yourself.

Challenge Shame. Recognize where your shame comes from and actively dismantle it.

Joy

Joy is the ecstatic laughter of a lover’s embrace, the sunlight breaking through clouds, the dance of shadows on cool water. The slut embraces the ecstatic moments that remind us of life’s fleeting beauty. Even sluts that have been wounded in the past choose to focus on how they can bring themselves and others joy.

Celebrate Small Pleasures. Find joy in the mundane: a morning coffee, the feel of fresh sheets, a shared smile.

Be Playful. Approach intimacy and life with a sense of curiosity and humor. Play is a path to connection and renewal.

Express Gratitude. Joy deepens when shared. Show appreciation for your lovers, friends, and the world around you.

Stay Curious. Explore new relationships, sensations, and experiences with a playful approach.

Kindness

Kindness is the simplest, most profound act of love. It transforms physical pleasure into emotional intimacy and turns everyday interactions into sacred exchanges.

Be Generous with Words. Compliment often, encourage without hesitation, and let your exchanges uplift everyone around you.

Practice Empathy. Seek to understand the feelings of others, especially in moments of intimacy.

Give Freely. Whether it’s your time, your body, or your affection, give with a full heart, but never at the expense of your well-being.

Offer Support. Be a trusted confidant to others, helping them navigate challenges without judgment.

Conclusion

To live as a slut is to embrace life as an art form. It is to honor the sensual, emotional, and spiritual aspects of being human in all their messy, beautiful glory. It is to see sex not as a separate act but as a reflection of one’s values, a space where pleasure, connection, and meaning come together.

I encourage you to share all your thoughts. Thank you.