So it’s been some time and I thought I could have control it but it seems like I can’t. My cheating thoughts consume me. They make me think and plan on ways I can do it. It’s like a scientist doing massive research. It drives me wild. I don’t know why I can’t stop, I don’t know why this lust drives me down even more. I know as a married man it is wrong and I know I should be stoned for it but my mind is losing it. I’m becoming more devious and wanting a side that I can escape to from reality. Escape from this world, I wanna feel desired. I want to feel wanted. I want to be seduced, told that it’s ok and give in. I wanna have a AP. Someone who gets naughty and nasty. Heck why not a married women, we would have so much in common and so many excuses to come up with. Or even a woman who can keep a naughty secret. Why do I think like this? What is wrong with me? I am horrible and I shouldn’t be thinking any of this but that desire… it feels so good.