UPDATE: Thanks to all of you who weighed in on this. I didn't expect this much of a response. I contacted Okemo Ski&Ride School using info provided by helpful Redditors here, and the school issued me a complete refund! They also thanked me for letting them know about that situation with the particular instructor. THANK YOU everyone for the advice!

I am a beginner, just getting onto green slopes. I've had 3 lessons up to this point, and last weekend had my first "bad" lesson. It really took me off guard, and I wanted to understand what the proper etiquette is on the off chance it happens again.

I was at Okemo and paid for an all day group lesson. 4 adults were scheduled, 3 showed. They broke us up based on skill and I ended up being 1-on-1 with an instructor, which I was actually excited about. Private all-day lesson for a group price!

Unfortunately, the lesson didn't go well. He started by asking me what I wanted to work on. I explained I knew how to wedge, and wedge turn, but I needed to gain confidence and control on steeper slopes, and had been practicing J-turns and "Christie" turns in a prior lesson earlier in the season (at another ski area). His response was "I think you should learn to hockey stop. I'm not really a skier. I play hockey and snowboard, so I can teach you that."

I immediately had red flags go up. I have never had a ski teacher tell me they "weren't really a skier".

He followed me up the magic carpet, watched me do a few runs down and said "yeah, that looks OK." This just sort of continued, and I kept asking for feedback, which mostly amounted to "yeah, you're looking OK. Roll your skis and ankles a bit more." About an hour in, the head ski instructor came over. She spoke with us, and immediately took my poles (and his) away, and told him not to teach me hockey stops. She had me start one-footed drills lifting my skis and turning down the beginner slope. This lasted roughly 20 minutes, then she left. At that point he contradicted what she said, told me he needed his ski poles and offered mine back to me, saying "I think we've done enough one ski stuff. That's crazy."

At that point we went back to the same routine of him basically following me around, talking to other employees and making small talk while I asked questions without much feedback. He said "hey, you can take a long lunch break", and I spoke briefly with the head instructor and him right after lunch, but was too uncomfortable to tell her I was getting nothing out of the lesson. I'm guessing that was the point when I should have found her and spoken to her privately.

After lunch it was more of the same. Except he commented "we could end the lesson early whenever I wanted." We went up a lift. He didn't even ask if I knew how to use it. Luckily my prior instructor and family taught me how to ride one. We did a small green, then went back up to a steeper one and we're off to the side and he says "so, what do you want to do?" At that point, I totally lost confidence. It was steep (for me) and I got freaked out having zero instruction. I ended up telling him to ski to a point and wait for me. So he shot down the slope, and just stood there staring at me while I wedged and tried to side slip down to get to him. Luckily after the one steep section it mostly leveled out and I was fine going the rest of the way.

At that point I had no confidence in going back up to challenge myself with zero instruction. It was also nearly time for me to get my kids from their group lessons. I politely thanked him for his time, and then he strangely asked to trade contact information to text me "in case I knew anyone who needed snowboard lessons," which was confusing to me.

To be clear, he was never mean or rude. He just seemed totally disinterested and disengaged in giving me a ski lesson, which I paid good money for.

I know I screwed up by not saying something in the moment, because I went to the ski school later and they basically shrugged and said "no refunds." They didn't even offer another lesson the following day. I ended up leaving a poor review but not naming names. I assume the guy didn't want to work there anymore.

Again, I know I was way too passive in not complaining, but it was also very awkward. I also kept wondering if he would all of a sudden begin providing better feedback. In the unlikely case I ever end up in this situation, how quickly can I evaluate whether I'm getting a "bad ski lesson?"

TL;DR: How quickly should you voice that you're not getting anything from a ski lesson you paid for, and want a new instructor, without looking like a jerk or making things uncomfortable?