First off, my goals and ideals haven't changed. In practice, I still want to see more content where giants and tinies are equals, and consent is respected. E.g. When a tiny explores a giant's body, the giant knows they're there and allows it, so the little one isn't a peeping tom or groping without permission. Or when a giant starts putting their tiny in some holes, the tiny agrees to it beforehand and wants to do it, so the giant isn't a r@pist. I like extra durability, so there's no gore or bloodshed. When I am a tiny, I like things to get a little hectic and a little rough, but I also always want to know that I'll be safe at the end of the day. Over time I've become more open to the idea of fantasizing about living as a pet or a plaything to a loving, doting giantess. I get that part now. Life is stressful. If I could just let go and get to a world where all my needs are taken care of and my biggest worry is how I'm going to serve my goddess, I'd find it really hard to say no. If she wants to do some more assertive things or tease me about my size, I'd be fine with that, but I'd beg her to never let it get to the point of degradation. I'd be very sensitive about being called worthless, pathetic, or bug. Same goes for humiliation. I get embarrassed enough in my real life, I would hate to have it happen while in my fantasy world.

That being said, I've been exploring my size switch roots a lot lately. I've been playing around with being a nice, gentle dom who takes care of my little ones. Like Difficult Minimum the Magic Man and throwaway172361. They were, and still are in many ways, the golden standard of how to treat tinies with compassion and respect. In recent times, I've also tried playing around with being more rough with my tinies. A girl came to me with the idea of doing a more cruel M/f rp, and what I learned from that is... I kinda like degrading and bullying tinies when I'm the one with the power. I like putting them through the ringer and watching them suffer - not die or be maimed, but be uncomfortable and wanting to leave, yet also craving more. I've honestly surprised myself with some of the ideas I've either been a part of or come up with myself in the days since. That tiny-fork post the other day was the tip of the iceberg. I seem to remember saying in my introduction post all those months ago that I didn't have interest in sex with the size fantasies, and that I just wanted to see people be sweet and wholesome. Those feelings aren't completely gone, but they don't necessarily describe me like they did at the time. When I first realized that I was enjoying the rough and cruel stuff so much, I felt disgusted with myself. I felt like a hypocrite. I was ashamed, and I thought that my efforts to fight off the more cruel giants was for nothing if I ended up joining them. Naturally, the logical part of my brain said: "Cheer up, old chum. People can be both. You already like switching between big and small, who's to say you can't switch between naughty and nice?" Made sense to me, but with more thought, I realized something else about myself too:

See, the reason I am so sensitive about insults and pain in my fantasies is because I don't trust people. When I'm the big one, I know that I don't really mean it. I know that I'm acting. I know that I don't actually think less of the other person. I can disassociate their pain from a real-world scenario, because they aren't really a tiny on my floor. But when I'm on the receiving end, I keep picturing what would happen if I were there. Would this person think I'm lesser because I'm so short? Is this person really acting, or does she actually hate me, and is using this as a chance to speak her mind freely? That unknown variable is hard for me. Basically, I can dish it, but I can't take it. But that seems to be a lot of people on here. Plenty of giants on here who will get violently mad if you even suggest that they take a dose of their own medicine.

It's hard to say what the future holds for me or how my tastes will change over time. I just wanted to get my thoughts out while they were fresh on my mind. Whoever made it to the end of this post, thank you for taking time to hear me out on my rambles. Have a nice day!