Post Context

My partner has known about my size fetish for well over a year now, and it took until just a few months ago for me to get brave enough to start to hint and tease at it after mostly radio silence on his end. This really started ramping up when we figured out that we could actively mix my fetishes with his newly discovered ones!

After years of being with partners that I did not tell about my size kink I can say that incorporating it into my love life was the best thing I have ever done.

I've written up on a few different comments about this topic, and, after encouragement from /u/nastybacon , I've decided to compile most of that into a single post. I'm not well known for my brevity, but I swear I tried to keep this somewhat tight and focused! It's a big topic though, so it does require a bit more than your average sizethot.

I'll organize this into three parts. General PSAs, specific advice, and example scenarios that have worked for myself.

General PSAs:

1. Remember that size stuff is, and probably always will be, your fetish and yours alone. While your partner will be happy that you're turned on, it just won't ever tick the same boxes for them.

2. (Horny) People are inherently selfish, so be sure to monitor yourself. Your partner has the things that turn them on, and you have yours. Both of you want to have a pleasurable experience, so it can be natural for one partner to softly put the brakes on a situation in which they aren't getting much out of an encounter. While any partner should be willing to give and take, it's important to make sure they don't feel like macro is suddenly taking main stage for every available sexual encounter - thereby limiting their pleasure/experience.

3. There's no "right time" to tell your partner about your size kink. Length, intensity, and geographic closeness are all only rough proxies for the most important sign you're ready to talk about this. Communication. If you are not at a point in a relationship where you and your partner have the respect and established communication routes to sit down and openly discuss vulnerable topics with one another, you may want to hold off on this conversation. Don't use this as a reason to not tell them, however. Look at this as a goal to work towards so you can discuss this with them when you are better established.

Specific Advice

1. Use what turns them on and incorporate it into your size roleplay! (Using the scenario that you enjoy being tiny around giant men) - What are the things that turn him on? Is he into any BDSM dynamics? Is he a tits guy? Ass man? Does he have certain fantasies he revisits often in his head? All of these are great things you can borrow and incorporate into your own size stuff so that it draws him in! Example: If he likes the idea of giving someone a facial (a fairly common turn on for many men) because it's this feeling of ownership and loving worship, you can describe in great detail what he'd see if he was 30 feet tall jerking off over your entire body. Your excitement. The flush of your skin. Your moans. Basically amplify what turns him on, and contextualize it into something both of you can enjoy! This can be hard to say aloud, so I highly recommend writing these thoughts out as a text you can share with them as a first step. This also gives them the privacy to process the depth of your fantasies without being watched.

2. Talk about what specifically turns you on about a particular aspect of your fetish. We often can be left feeling like "how do you not know how to talk about this when I've told you I'm into it", without realizing we basically said "I like giant men" or "I like tiny women" and left it at that. Sit down and discuss what you like, and go into extensive detail about it! Sights, smells, emotions - all of it!

3. Be prepared for a lot of things to suddenly "click" for them if you've told them about other fetishes you have. In my specific case my foot fetish and love of having my partner sitting and working at his desk while I worshiped his feet suddenly made a lot more sense to him after he learned about macro. It dawned on him that I loved that view because my POV was of my giant dominant partner making me worship him from far down below. If you've tried to slip in little scenarios and positions that feed into your size play, expect for your partner to slowly put the puzzle pieces together. It's a fun little sexual scavenger hunt!

4. Don't be afraid to get silly with it! This can be a hard fetish for someone to understand coming from the outside. It can be daunting for a giant to suddenly be handed all this power and authority over a tiny, or for a significant other to learn their partner sexually enjoys being smaller than a bug. In the BDSM community there's a lot of talk of always keeping things "fun". It's a key guiding principle during early exploration of any powerplay kink. Be willing to joke about your size fetish, mention it in small ways throughout the day, and generally poke fun at yourself to your partner some room to breath and feel like they aren't going to mess up something so obviously important to you. They can start cracking jokes back, and you'll respond positively - which rewards them seeing you happy - and the cycle continues! It's about offering those olive branches so that both of you can find a center to work from.

5. Resist the urge to become defensive or shut down if their initial reaction isn't what you'd hoped for. Here I'm going to rely on my (and many others) experience coming out as queer. Very early on you learn to accept that you have to be gracious enough to give people the time and space to make sense of what you've told them. This includes mistakes, poorly constructed jokes, and questions that can feel borderline invasive. It's easy to grow frustrated at this other adult completely mishandling the situation. In this moment though think of them not as an adult, but a newborn. Have you ever watched a newborn try and do anything? They suck at it. With time, practice, and patience, however, they eventually figure it out. Your partner will figure it out too. Don't kick their legs out just as they're trying to take their first steps.

6. Show them this subreddit and other forums/content that you enjoy. With my partner it really helped when I could pull up my CoiledFist profile and show him all the stories I'd written, the age of my account (I'm entering twink death - don't remind me), and the general community. It validated my insistence that size kink, while niche, is not some bizarre fetish with a sole occupant of me. There are thousands of us, and we have many happy and healthy communities where we interact, support, and share with one another. I would softly encourage, before you do this, to not show them your specific accounts (or reserve some). This is not because I think you should hide your activity from your partner - but rather because it's important that you feel like you have a space where you can still privately explore this often constantly evolving kink.

7. If you RP - and your partner does not know - you do need to resolve if you will or will not disclose this with them. My personal advice is that disclosure can be a wonderful opportunity to grow with one another, but at the end of the day that's your business. With my partner I was very open that RP and personal DMs - even while of a sexual nature at times - are not the same thing for most of us in the community as what most would label "emotional cheating". This is an impossible fetish. Something that can never happen, and we're all sane enough to know that. Most of us have hidden this part of ourselves for our entire lives, and it's been our interactions with one another that has helped us realize we're not broken or weird. We're not here to date or seek out a new partner. We're here to vent and explore in a safe space. My partner was understanding of this, and he encouraged me to keep the community I'd spent so many years cultivating - with the addendum that he has full permission to request access to my RP accounts if he would ever like to. If you choose to disclose you need to accept and support your partner if they aren't as accepting - and determine for yourself how important it is to you to have that outlet or not going forward.

8. Take the lead. You can't expect your partner to figure this all out on their own. Giant or tiny, Dom or sub - it's up to you to navigate your partner through this. Not the other way around. Did you partner do or say something that put you over the edge? Tell them! If you want them to do something with you, ask! Communicate your needs!

Scenarios to try out

• Send them photos/videos/messages of you turned on by a size fantasy. Most people are ecstatic to have an intimate message from their partner. Sending her a photo, video, or text about how turned on you are picturing her 100 feet tall, or them 2 inches small, will make their brain tune in to the fact that, "Oh, wow. Ok, they really are into this.", and make it more likely they try and work it in of their own free will when they hope to turn you on.

• Straddle them and start talking about a size fantasy of yours. This is a personal favorite of mine. I love lightly grinding into my partner and telling him about what I'm thinking about. Seeing the amusement/confusion on his face transform into his being turned on as I signal to him I'm open to sex is chefs kiss. Is this what Pavlov had in mind when he discovered classical conditioning? * Shrug *

• Get drunk/high/horny and share your fantasies with one another. As someone who, perhaps like you, struggles a bit with being shy about my fantasy irl I've found that getting in the right "state of mind" does wonders for me in terms of how openly I can share what I'm into. My partner and I have really enjoyed taking an edible lately and me describing - in great detail - what turns me on while he sits and listens. Later on we check in and see how the other feels about what we talked about. It's been great for starting conversations and putting us both in a mental space where we're very open with one another and not trying to hide or play mental chess because of shame/embarrassment. ^{Obvious note to do this safely and responsibly and not rely on this as a crutch for good communication. It's a fun way to augment your relationship, not a tool for frequent use.}

• If you'd like more IRL roleplay, ease them into it! (Warning - graphic sexual descriptions ahead) For me this was getting him turned on and then asking him to jerk off laying down while I crawled between his legs and lapped at his balls. I loved that POV because it made me feel tiny and small with my head in between his thighs and my entire vision taken up by his cock. Over time we've transitioned more and more to other POVs that we can both enjoy for different reasons. I'll lay on the floor and pleasure myself while he stands or sits in a chair above me. I get the enjoyment of a spectacular bugs eye view, and he gets to jerk off watching me touch myself (which he loves). Ease them into positions that play into your fantasy while giving them room to also have fun. Say, you like the idea of your partner being tiny so you sometimes serve your dinner on different sized plates.

• Take a BDSM/kink list test and compare your results. If you haven't already I'd encourage every couple to do so. It's a way for the both of you to be vulnerable and to learn new things about one another. Before we took the KinkSheet test I had no idea my partner was so into breath play, or that he really wanted to fuck me in formal clothing. He was surprised to see how high I'd rated receiving hickies as a turn on. Have a glass of wine and explore with each other! Here is a link to BDSM Test - a comprehensive test that is about identifying your sexual archetypes (Dom/sub, Rigger/ropebunny, etc.). This is a great place to start if you and your partner are are relatively unsure of where one another falls in preferred role/position. Here is a link to KinkSheet - this is a more narrowed test designed to hone in on specific sex acts. You can share your results and compare them to find things you match on, and to discuss ones in which you maybe didn't match (and why).

• Did you find an especially hot story, photo, or post that got you going? Share it with them! Your partner can't read your mind, and they're already at a disadvantage when it comes to a fetish likely far outside their wheelhouse. Imagine your partner sending you a screenshot of the erotica they're reading and saying "Can't wait to do this with you". In the right context that would be titillating and could reveal a lot to you about what turns them on! Don't deny your partner the chance to have the same experiences by never sharing content you enjoy with them.

For another perspective on this topic I'd encourage you to explore this resource made by the GTS content creator Jitensha over on her and her partner's forum. Jitensha has been a huge inspiration for many after she and her non-macro partner were able to successfully incorporate it into their partnership. (Shout out to /u/only_the_worthy for having linked this yesterday!)

If you are still hesitant on ever opening up about this with your partner I'll leave you with this little nugget of wisdom I gained during my time as a teen coming out in a very traditional religious family culture -

You've got to give people the chance to surprise you. Not telling them robs them of that moment when they can be more than you think they can be.

^{I hope others in the comments can share their own experiences, thoughts, fears, and advice so we can all learn and support one another! Thanks so much for reading!}