I sent this to the first man I was with just now. Due to circumstance, I'm not sure if I'll have the opportunity to see him again. I'm posting because I feel some pain and sadness and sharing here is a way to ease the burden. I appreciate anyone that reads it. Here's what I wrote to him:

I just wanted to send you a quick note and hope that you are doing
well. As Thanksgiving approaches I wanted to give my thanks to you.
Our journey was long and had many gaps in time, but those gaps served
dual purposes. It increased my comfort level, and thereby attraction to
you as well as gave me time to process my internal struggles about my
own femininity and orientation and allowed me to accept myself.

The culmination of it all, finally having had the opportunity to be
with you intimately, was everything I'd ever dreamed of and more. You
have given me the best sex I have ever had. I deeply hope to one day
see you again but I want you to know that what you have done for me is
recognized and appreciated. You've given rise to my woman and accepted
and embraced her.

I am honored that you found me attractive enough to be with me and
let me service you. I treasure being able to give you a blowjob and
forever have the memories of smelling and tasting your glorious cock and
the elation I felt when I was able to achieve your orgasm. The
incredible high I had with your seed in my mouth. The satisfaction I
felt to swallow your essence.

This led to comfort the next time we saw each other and the way you
made me feel like it was my natural role, more than 20 years after I
first experienced sex, to completely surrender to you. I will never
forget how you filled the room with your masculine aura as you prepared
me to take your cock. The indescribable experience of you entering me,
opening me, and the insatiable lust I felt for you despite the pain.
When you were thrusting in me I can now admit that I finally felt
comfortable and safe as a sexual being for the first time in my life. I will
desire eternally for you to one day try to make me pregnant. I will
keep thinking about it. It would be the appropriate culmination of our
journey and nothing would make me happier.

Thank you for making me a woman and a whore.