I'm lifelong crossdresser (in private) and possibly trans (in hiding). I am looking for guidance and instructions on which direction to train my brain, in order to super-charge my desires (to eventually transition) and to become boy-crazy, obsessed about men and to crave to be in a relationship with my special one.

Previously I was mostly obsesses with femininity (mine, trans or women in general), and that focus prevented me to appreciate men in general or become horny (boy-crazy) over them in particular. I have used mantras and porn to get myself horny whenever I look at a cock, and I want to extend that to more aspects of my life.

I'm seeking a relationship where I'm either devoting myself to a man, or I'm encouraged/trained to devote myself to a future man. My personal future holds feminization, hormones and surgeries, and I have many kinks (incl. bimbofication, maid training and servitude, humiliation and bondage games...).

I'm married right now, but want to open up myself to other possibilities, including divorce and re-marry as the wife the second time. Also open for new ideas or general discussion on how to train my brain on new ideas...