So I've been a long time lurker in the sissy community and I suppose part of why I've never really engaged beyond a very outside looking in kinda way is because I'm not sure if I actually count.

I engage with a lot of of sissy content, I adore the aesthetic, and am stunned by how amazing some of you look. I've been crossdressing for some time and adore anal play(I've even had a few sissygasms which I'm very proud of), I've even been lucky enough to meet someone who is open to that stuff (though granted she doesn't know about the extend of the cross dressing yet), she's even suggested we do locktober next year.

However...

I'm not remotely feminin. I have in the past shaved my body (whilst single) and loved it, especially how it feels when dressed up.

But I'm a big guy (my gay bestie says I'd make a great bear) with a big bushy beard and I'm very comfortable with my masculinity. I also don't find men sexually attractive which causes a bit of a headspin when it comes to all this.

So I struggle somewhat with engaging with all of this. I sometimes find myself wishing there was a button I could push to enhabit a much more feminin body to make engaging with all of this easier.

I guess I'd just like to know where I fit in with things? Are there others who feel the same to me, is there another group that would be more suited to my vibe, is me experience rare or common?

Appreciate you bearing with my late night ramble. And appreciate any advice or kind words for you may have for an odd sausage like me.