So I finally met my first person, they were crossdressing, it started out with me getting my dick sucked, didn't even cum, moved onto fucking her/him in their ass, I used a condom, but it was more like indidnt feel much, I kept not getting hard, it was at this point I was basically limp, awkward as hell, I ended up jerking them off and sucking on their dick till they came, let's just say overall it was a very nerve inducing experience, the dick sucking was the equivalent of sucking a silicone dildo, and I made him/her cum was in my mouth, I partially threw up and went the bathroom to rinse my mouth out, at this point I was done, didn't cum, made them cum, it was weird cause I was basically top in this scenario, felt sorta disgusted tho, wondering if it was just a bad experience or if I ruined it for being new? Just went home and brushed my mouth several times, and showered and cleaned myself vigourisly, starting to wonder if it's for me and I still want to be a woman, and be treated with compassion, as someone's woman and be the little spoon, this wasn't it, l'm sure next time hopefully wont be quite drunk writing this as of the after, so ignore poor grammar/spelling) just reply in comments with what first comes to kind, DMs if you dont have karma is fine I suppose