Title is self explanatory, but I've been a crossdresser/sissy since I was about 13 (now 28) and I've been in a long term, committed relationship with my GF for three and half years. I love her to bits, but our sex life is not good. When we do have sex, it's good but not great and it's a rarity. She never initiates and I find myself waiting for the rare moments she's not in the house to either masturbate or play with my dildo and dress up. I came incredibly close to a sissygasm the other month and the sexual elation from that just isn't matched by the rare, extremely vanilla sex we normally have. I've been losing weight to get back into shape but also to feel cuter when I do dress up and to pass better so I can have more fun on my own and when posting pictures on placing like this...

I, therefore, want to talk to her about this. Make it clear that our sex life isn't enough for me while not spooking her. She's so vanilla I don't even think I can say she's got a dominant bone in her body, and she's probably on the submissive side in any case. She doesn't know about my hobby at all, but I did tell her I found transgirls attractive in the early days of our relationship. I would love her to peg me while I was dressed, but I really doubt that'd be something she'd want to do. She would definitely not want to explore polyamory

For those sissies who've come out to their significant others, do you have any advice about how to proceed or am I doomed to either a life of meh sex or a life without her?