tldr at the bottom, sorry for these longs posts, I just need to vent haha.

Some of you may or may not know me as the sissy who complains about how there are no men out there that actually make me feel submissive. I even made this post a while back about how I haven't felt the signature sissy cock thirst in forever. To the people who said it would come back: sorry for doubting you lol. I happened to experience it a few hours after I posted that 😂.

I was on some app, and made a post about doing face rates, cause I was bored. One guy piqued my interest. Big, strong arms, nice hairy chest, and very handsome bearded face, solid 8 out of 10. So he already had my interest. Then, he did something I didn't expect. He called me sweet.

As I chatted with him more he was very flirtatious, in a make your panties drop from the weight of how soaked they are kind of way. He started calling me things that I really liked. It got worse when I sent a pic, the way he instantly claimed me as his turned me on. He had SUCH a way with words. The way he complimented me? I never stood a chance. He made my heart flutter. I was crushing HARD. (I can post the messages if you guys wanna see them)

For the first time in a very VERY long time, I felt truly desperate for a mans cock that I hadn't even seen yet( and it did NOT get better after he sent some bulge pics lol) . I was ready to totally surrender myself to him. He was my daddy.

And he REALLY liked me too. Wanted to keep in touch. He told me to make a discord so that we could keep talking, but he told me to do it in the morning cause it was getting late and he didn't want to keep me up (literally so considerate omfg 😭😭). So I told him I will.

now for the tragic part. . .

I made the rookie mistake, of beating off. And post nut clarity hit this closeted sissy like a truck, as it tends to. The submissive daddy's girl I was just a few minutes ago poofed into thin air, and I wanted nothing to do with her. So morning comes and I end up ghosting him. A few days pass and my sissy side comes back out, but the guy already blocked me (rightfully so) and Ill never get the chance to talk to him again.

After all the whining I did about men not being worth it, I Literally had a perfect 10, ticked all my boxes and made me feel like exactly like the obedient submissive girly slut that I want to be. And I ruined it.

I feel terrible, because he really was super sweet and kind, and definitely didnt deserve that. And I feel even worst because I wasn't able to be a good obedient girl for my daddy 😔. I hope he finds someone that he deserves.

As for me, I feel like I hit the lottery and just tossed my ticket into the shredder. At least now I know that good men are out there, but idk the odds of finding one again, or if I even deserve that. Hopefully next time ill be better.

Does anyone else experience this? How do you deal with keeping yourself in your sissy persona consistently, or for an extended period of time? Any tips would be much appreciated lol.

Anyways, if you made it to the end, thanks for letting me vent my frustrations with myself, ik it was a long read so I appreciate you sticking around. Tata for now 🙋🏾‍♀️!

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TL;DR : I found an absolute 1 of a kind gem of a man that made me feel desperate to be his submissive sissy girl, a feeling Ive wished for for a very long time. and I ghosted him because of post-nut clarity and being closeted.