Hey guys. Figured this might be a good place to post this moment that might be ideally suited to /r/offmychest, except nobody there would understand what the fuck I was talking about. =)

I'm a man in my mid-30s and I've been making a fairly large chunk of my income in the last 5 or 6 years as a singer/musician. Mostly working as a side man for other peoples' bands, singing for weddings/events, session work, and the occasional musical theater gig.

I studied classical voice in college, but I loved singing for rock bands at that time in my life, and I never really attacked classical music it as hard as a classical musician needs to in order to be successful. With the realization in the last year that I want to dedicate the rest of my life to being the most badass m'fing singer I possibly can be, though, I've rededicated myself to it. Been taking lessons. Things are going well. I'm already cruising over some Mozart tenor arias without too much trouble and I like the way my recordings sound.

I sing in the choir at a church in the downtown area of my hometown every Sunday, and this week the music director/organist asked me to cantor. I NEVER get stage fright, but I have to admit I was a little nervous. Even though I've been a fairly experienced performer for a long time, I've not sung classical music in public since I was around 23.

Anyway, we get a brief choir rehearsal before the service, and as people are filing in, who the fuck walks in but the stars of the local opera production that just closed last night. I didn't see the show but their faces were burned into my mind. The tenor is a badass. There's a clip of him singing "Ah, mes amis" from La Fille du Regiment, an insanely hard aria, with more style and flair than I've ever seen, and technical skill that rivals the greatest singers ever to sing the role.

Great. I get to make my public classical voice debut singing in front of two of the greatest opera singers living on earth at the moment.

Like I said, I NEVER get stage fright, but I'm walking up to the podium, and my head starts to swim. I regulate my breathing. "Just like any gig with the metal band," I remind myself.

Song goes great, even though I'm about ready to pass out from nerves and the huge gulps of air I keep taking to keep my sternum lifted and throat open. The singers left before I could say hello. It's a shame. I've seen the tenor interviewed, and his sense of humor makes me think we'd get along.

I've been trying to process what, if anything, it "means" that I had this experience. And I've decided that it's just a milestone the universe is giving me, telling me I'm on the right path. Breaking into classical music as an adult is crazy hard today. The field of competition is nuts. But fortunately, I'm a tall, attractive, mid-to-large-voiced tenor with solid musicianship, a great work ethic, and a range that's crazy high (sang an Eb5 in a mix in my voice lesson the other day!), but who can still cook the low notes as well as anybody. I can act better than people I've see at the Met. I can even dance a bit. I believe in myself and I believe that if I get the technical skills I need, any small, regional opera company would go batshit over me. And from there, it's just a matter of working my reputation and skills up.

There's a marquee outside my rehearsal studio, on a carpet store of all places, that says the following:

"It's never too late to become the person you could've been."

I've gotta believe that's true. Because the thing I'm doing now would be insane otherwise. =)

Thanks for reading!