Im 18 and I should be an adult but im struggling. The amount of schoolwork i have to do for college is annoying but not hard, but i need to have a job as well to pay for loans. I also have to deal with MDD and ADHD along with constant meds and psychiatric and therapeutic sessions. Sorry for yapping. I know i apologize too much and i have attachment and abandonment issues, but just because im self aware does not mean im okay. I wanna hurt myself and end my life but im scared of pain, yet im starting to slowly convince myself that its okay to kill and hurt myself. Im willing to be used by others as long as I get attention and feel needed. I need help, i want help, im not sure what to do anymore. Im always disappointed in myself. I dont deserve love, but i want love so badly. Im sorry im so sorry please just help me i cant do this anymore. Im sorry you had to read this, im going to bed