I dosed in my kitchen approximately 00:30 am, at the start it was just another trip euphoria and visuals and at about 2 am I went up to a frozen red snapper left in a container to defrost over night and for what ever reason I felt attracted to pick it up and look at it in its eyes for about 5 minutes, and it moved me tears I looked at myself and realised how much of a slob I am, how lazy I am ad how much I just consume and consume . I looked at my belly I looked at myself at the mirror and I've realised I've purposely wanted to feel sorry for myself so I can justify my laziness and over-consumption. I am 20 with no direction, no social life,working a minimum wage job and out of education.

I can no longer go about this .

I've decided I'm getting a Seiko watch ,a notepad and a brick phone until I fix myself physically and mentally.

Edit : sorry for any mistakes i made writing this i was still comingdown 😭