Hi everyone, I’m writing with a desperate request for advice. Yesterday, I had a truly terrifying bad trip. It was my 6th or 7th experience with mushrooms, and I took 6 grams of Cambodian. I’ve taken similar doses before (I’m a big, heavy guy, hence the dose), and every trip was wonderful—very positive and uplifting experiences that helped me cope with symptoms of depression and anxiety.

Unfortunately, yesterday, about 2 hours after taking the mushrooms, my thoughts took a strange and dark turn. I started convincing myself that I was a god and that reality was just a product of my mind—that nothing was real and nothing had any meaning. I completely lost my sense of self and was overwhelmed by an intense fear that I’d never be able to function normally again after “learning” what I did during the trip.

Shortly after, I had a full-blown panic attack—heart palpitations and all—and spent the next 2 hours vomiting in the bathroom. My thoughts spiraled into unbearable fear, convincing me I had gone insane and would never be normal again. The anxiety was overwhelming. In past trips, my thoughts had always been positive, helping me confront problems in a logical and cohesive way. But yesterday’s thoughts (now that I reflect on them) were chaotic, absurd, and nonsensical, yet they felt absolutely true at the time.

I’ve never had any issues like schizophrenia or psychotic disorders, and there’s no history of such conditions in my family either.

It’s been over 24 hours since that experience. My wife has been incredibly supportive, and I even managed to go to work today. I’m functioning somewhat normally, but I’m still plagued by anxious thoughts—mostly fear that I’ll lose control over my mind again and start believing in things that aren’t real.

Does anyone have advice on how to process such a difficult and negative experience? Thank you in advance for any suggestions!