Hi All,

I've been using shrooms as part of a (mostly solo) spiritual practice for a few years. I've also had a few decades of on-and-off meditation instruction and practice, culminating in an 8-week (nondenominational, MBSR) course that's resulted in a (mostly) consistent meditation daily practice for the past four years. I'm middle-aged, have always been interested in self development, and sometimes use devices (pedometers when I was doing physical stuff, and lately Muse 2 for the brain stuff) as well as substances in the pursuit of my goals.

A few trips ago, I was experiencing some anxiety and tried meditating. As you might expect with shrooms, this ended up as a very intense experience - similar to the feelings I'd had at my 10-day (Goenka) Vipassana retreat in 2001. It was *so* good I wanted to go back the next day and continue my "work", but (after inquiring here) realized that I'd have to take a really high dose and even then it was dicey, so I opted to wait instead.

Since then, I tend to spend most of my sessions meditating, usually for hours (I do take breaks, get up and move around). The results are really, REALLY good: it's similar to the effects I experienced at the 10-day (but not as strong) and helpful to my meditation practice (because I want to be able to 'get back there' without having to take shrooms). How often I trip mostly depends on what else is going on in my life (trauma = more sessions, since they usually help a lot) and whether I have anything else planned for the weekend (I usually do). Generally this varies from two weeks to several months.

What I'm finding so rewarding/enticing is threefold:
1) It's easier to stay focused
I'm not sure whether being on shrooms enhances the focus itself (I have AuDHD) or it's just the effect of (like pot) making ordinary things more fascinating. But it's definitely easier to stay focused on the breath/meditation experience/internal work on shrooms than it is unmedicated. It's also helpful to have had the experience recently for later meditations - I can remember what it's supposed to be like and "get there" more easily.

2) Ego dissolution/feeling of oneness
The first time I did psychedelics, I felt that intense awareness of the oneness of the universe that everybody talks about. Later trips are not as intense, but it is ever so much easier to loosen the grip of your ego (the goal of most meditators) on shrooms than not on shrooms.

3) Post-trip benefits
I can (for example) be feeling extremely upset and hurt by an event (ex: big fight with a loved one) that has me feeling angry/despairing/suicidal, do a trip, process the feelings in the trip, and come away (mostly) peaceful or at least having a much easier time with my feelings. I also function better: for example a recent fight was followed by a second fight, but since I'd tripped in-between the two events, I recovered from the second one comparatively quickly.
I also feel as though I'm making deeper and faster progress with my meditation practice than I would without it. At minimum, I'm much more interested, and the experience of "succeeding" or having intense meditations on a regular basis make 'getting into the groove' easier, much like retreats do.
As a result of all this, I have fewer emotional problems, less stress, and am getting along with other people better.

I cannot be the only one doing this sort of thing, and would very much like to find others; both for the social support and opportunity to learn from other people's mistakes. I've joined a local Sangha, and that's great, but it's not a "shroom sangha" and obviously there's a lot more information to be found on the internet ...if you know where to look.

Does an online "shroom sangha" or "psilocybin-enhanced meditation community" exist? If so where? Any suggestions on where to look?

TIA