I started experiencing mushrooms with my girlfriend a couple years ago. Our first time was an incredible experience. Time didn't exist, and we danced naked on her screened in porch all night. Another time, we watched Ready Player One for the first time, and I had to keep reminding myself I wasn't part of the movie, I was just watching it. Absolutely insane how good that movie is while tripping. We had a lot of really good trips and the way I look at and feel about things is different from how I did before shrooms.

I'm putting the rest under spoiler because I think some if it is pretty dark:
Last summer, I had a bad trip. I think I was in a bad head space when we took them, and that might have been one of the mistakes. I felt worried and scared the entire time. I found myself going around our house hiding dangerous things like knives. I convinced myself that I was living a reality where I was actually sober, and just told myself I was on shrooms as an excuse for my mental illness. It was incredibly out of character for me. I felt like I need to control what was happening around me, and I couldn't. I was scared of hurting my girlfriend unintentionally, or waking up to find out I did something bad. We took a little break from shrooms after that.

This summer, I'm in a much better place. My girlfriend and I are very happy together. I started a business that has been successful, and I feel good about our lives. We tried shrooms again, and I only took small amounts to start. The trips didn't feel as good as the first bunch of time. I still felt worried, and scared that I'd fall back into some of those other thoughts. I continued to only take small amounts and we had a handful of decent trips, but each one I had subtle feelings of worry. The last time we took them, Avatar 2 was finally available to stream at home. We'd been waiting for that and both wanted to do shrooms for it. I took about 2 grams, and we sat down for the movie. I was entranced by the colors and characters, but as the movie went on, I started to have dark thoughts again. We have two dogs, one of which was cuddling me, and all I felt was our entire lives fast forwarding to the end. I couldn't stop thinking about death, the end, and everything we've worked for being gone. I was trying my hardest not to ruin it for my girlfriend, who was enjoying herself immensely watching the movie, so I made the decision to go lie down in bed. I promised her I was fine, and went to lay down. I put on some familiar music (The Tragically Hip) and lay there for a while thinking about a lot. I felt myself worrying again. Worrying about death, worrying about not being good enough for my dogs and my girlfriend. I would've given anything to be sober immediately. I felt myself wanting my girlfriend, and I argued internally for a while before deciding I needed her help. I called for her and she came and spent time with me. I started to feel better and let her go finish the movie. After that, I felt fine. I was on the come down, and I went back and joined her for the remaining 45 minutes of the movie. I felt fantastic now. I was enjoying the movie, both of us cracked jokes and laughed until we were crying. I honestly laughed harder than I ever have. When the movie ended, we let the dogs out in the back and stood on the deck staring at the stars for about an hour. I told her everything I had felt from all my past trips, and I told her I don't think I want to do shrooms again. We agreed it might be for the best. I felt good about the decision. Since that night, we spent a night together when she did a few grams, and I was sober. We both enjoyed it, and it was fun spending time with her while she was tripping.

I'm incredibly thankful for the experiences I had, and I'm glad I got to experience the good trips. I don't have a specific reason for sharing this, other than wanting to share my story.