Zach leaned on the hospital wall, across from him was a door leading into a patient’s room. He tried his best to calm down, wanting to slow his heavy breathing, he forced himself to start breathing slow. He looked down at the blood on his hands. He heard the doctors talking inside, “Her vital signs are dropping.” He could feel his heart start beating faster. He wanted to think of anything else, he looked at the floor and started to measure how much room that the table near him was taking up. They had arguments 4 times a day at the least, but he didn’t want this to happen. A registered nurse walked up to him from the room, the nurse told him the diagnosis, he felt sick. He held his stomach. He felt incredibly bad, so many thoughts ran through his mind. He nodded to the Nurse, not wanting to bother them anymore, Zach stumbled through the hospital hallways, wanting water. He soon found a vending machine, he quickly bought the water bottle and took it from the vending machine. The water flowing down his throat somewhat calmed him. Do Not Resuscitate, only if he had tried to talk her out of wanting it, maybe she would still be alive. She was so much more greater than him, if only he could give his life for hers.

He needed bed rest, so he made his way out of the hospital, too scared to say goodbye. As he walks down the sidewalk, he sighs and puts his hands into his pockets, it is cold out. He walked into the gas station, wanting to buy a 2 liter of soda, but was disappointed to find they didn’t have 2 liters. Zach bought a bag of chips, he loved the bbq ones. As he walked into his home, he opened up the bag of chips and lifted one up by his mouth and ate it, he looked at his hands, blood. He felt sick again, he wanted to forget, maybe if he forgot her, maybe he won’t feel as bad. Zach quickly started to think about dinner, he opened up the fridge and fished out chicken liver. As he cooked the slab of muscle, he hummed. It reminded him of her, maybe it’s okay to remember, no, Zach didn’t want to. He silenced himself, before breathing in air deeply. His tongue licked his lips as he sat down to eat. His brain hurt, maybe he needs to take some Ibuprofen. He opened up his medicine cabinet, antibiotics and other medicine. He closed the cabinet, the mirror reflecting him and someone behind him. He quickly turned out of fear. He saw no one. Breathing heavy, Zach was confused, soon gaining his composure and left his bathroom. He rubbed his eye, he was tired after a long day. He put his hand on his blue bedroom walls to keep himself from falling over. Smearing blood on the wall as he moved to sit on his bed. He scratched at his skin, he sighed. He grew angry at himself, he felt that he deserved to break every bone in his body. He was supposed to protect her, but he knew everybody wasn’t perfect. Memories flew around in his mind. He felt happy inside. Now understanding that it wasn’t his fault. He stood up, and left to go wash his hands of blood. No longer feeling guilt.