Log 1

The first time jump worked! I arrived before the Battle of Zela and introduced myself to King Pharnaces II. I showed off some future knowledge, and he was happy to listen to my advice. The plan, however, went less smoothly. He still died right after winning the battle, dooming the Empire of Pontus again. I didn't get a clear look, but I can confirm the historical record; 'some kind of monster' is all I saw too. It was large, man-shaped, and fast.

I'll charge the time machine again. This time, I'll try shooting the monster before it kills the king.

Log 70

How? How does this thing keep slipping past me? I AM A TIME TRAVELER! How does it constantly outwit me? Why won't the king stop dying?

But I've got a good feeling about this ambush.

Log 82

When the going gets tough, run. Saving King Pharnaces II directly isn't working, but I'm increasingly sure that this monster is from the enemy. I will infiltrate their ranks and foil their dastardly schemes at the source! But has anyone even researched their barbaric tongue?

Time to learn Latin, I suppose. But first, science! I need a control group, so to begin with, I'm just going to walk into the middle of the army and see what happens.

Log 83

The legions are full of idiots! As long as I dress appropriately, they assume I belong. I have no need to learn the language. Next jump, I'll try loitering around the command tent and seeing if this 'monster' comes out, and save Pharnaces II

Log 84

The Romans are not as foolish as I thought. Their spears are also exceptionally pointy. Further planning and language study is required after all. This may take a few more jumps.

Log 238

I believe I finally speak Latin fluently. The guards don't impale me as often, and I'm beginning to understand what the commanders are talking about in the tent. They're speaking in whispers, and I can just barely understand it, but I think they're planning an assassination! A monster, indeed. Finally, though, I'll be able to stop them.

King Pharnaces better appreciate this once I'm done. I'm demanding a statue for my service.

Log 245

After several more loops, it turns out they were only whispering about smuggling wine.

Am I ever going to figure out this mystery? Who is the monster? What is killing the king? Why am I so terrible, with all my knowledge of the future, at stopping this thing?

But I will stop it. I will save the greatest king to ever live. I will bring Pontus back to a Golden Age!

But where to look? The Romans are involved, but perhaps it isn't the commanders. Maybe it's a plot that grew up from the rank-and-file. This is going to take a while. I'm also going to die a lot as I plan on joining the battle lines. Death bed confessions are probably my best hope.

Log 282

I can no longer simply slip into camp. There are too many copies of me already there, and all the spare tents are in use. I’ll need to start bringing my own supplies from the future. But I've interrogated a hundred men; only 10,000 or so more to go, before I'll definitely find the monster or its handler.

Log 365

Happy time travel anniversary to me! It's been a terrible year. There's a few hundred of me in the Roman army, and yet I'm still no closer to saving ol' Pharny. You don't mind if I call you Pharny, do you?

Oh, you do mind?

Well too bad! I've died too many times trying to rescue your murderable royal behind, and the least you can do is let me give you a nickname.

In more serious news, I am beginning to worry about my mental state. But I refuse to turn back now.

Research Log 2322

I've gone through half the men. It's getting harder to find actual Romans, because time-traveling versions of me make up a significant portion of the army at this point.

Log 4110

A few hundred men left. I'm so close, I can almost taste the monster. And Pharny, I want a temple for my statue. No one, in the history of Pontus, has ever put so much effort into saving the empire.

At least these last few should go quickly. There's enough of me helping the Romans that the battle takes longer now, and I therefore have more time to trick people into revealing their secrets.

Less than a hundred jumps left. It's strange to even think about stopping at this point. What will it be like, to not live the same day over and over?

Log 4165

Well f-

No. Bad time traveler. No swearing at the camera.

I've made my last jump. To give the good news first, the monster did not kill King Pharnaces II this time! Technically, if you look at this the right way, I've completed my objective.

Now the bad news. I hadn't realized just how many of me were helping the Roman army, and we maybe, sort of, kind of... won?

But they killed the king in battle, before the monster (and how do I still not know what it is?!) could get him, and you know what? I'm tired. I'm calling this a success and declaring victory. One measly battle isn't going to make that much difference, right?

I made sure that Caesar fellow didn't say anything about the time travelers who made him win. His battle report is suspiciously terse, just veni, vidi, vici, but Rome's falling soon anyway, no one's going to look into it.

As for the monster—Historians in the future, it fled in a generally Transylvanian direction. Do your own research if you care to learn more. I don’t anymore.

Finally, I’m jumping back home.

Log 4165-A

I stand corrected, one battle can make a big difference. What is pizza, anyway?

Written for the Secret Santa event on our Discord server.

Historical footnotes: Caesar did use veni, vidi, vici (I came, I saw, I conquered) as his report to the Senate on the Battle of Zela. Pharnaces II did not actually die in the battle, but rather in a another battle soon afterwards. It is unknown how many time travelers actually fought at Zela.