Once, there was an endangered spider thing. Every1 thot it was 2spo0ky, so they locked it away in a cage.

LOCATION: Ellesmere Island TIME: 1946

The Americans have locked the Endangered Spider Monkey on the faraway Artic Island of Nunavut. The Allies have agreed to use it in case of a Third World War.

JUMP TO: 2016

Two dipshits get lost on an Artic Expedition on Ellesmere Island. They stumble across a strange Artic Base.

Oh yeah, one's name is Sam2cool. The other is TimBOnFire. Sam2cool likes to play magic and minecraft, he's not like other simple-minded beings and has an IQ of 300. TimBonFire spits the sickest bars and has a dope-ass studio in his mom's basement. He uses audacity and his free trial on WeVideo.

"Woah, what is that?", says Sam2cool.

"Looks like an Army Base." says TimBonFire.

"Psh.. I-I knew that." says Sam quietly.

The two walk up to the strange-looking building and find a door. They stop at the gift shop and Starbucks and continue down the hallway.

They arrive at a prison-like room. There are empty cages surrounding the kids. The only occupied cage lays in front of them; an endangered spider thing.

"Damn, what is that thing!?" exclaims Tim.

"I don't know- I mean, I know, it's uh-nah I don't-actually-"

"Shut up, Sam, you're in CP Problem-Solving" says Tim.

"Trust me, I'm smart, I just don't like wasting my time on silly math questions." responds Sam.

LOCATION: Washington D.C

The president and his secretary are watching surveillance footage of the two boys.

"Get a few men up there to get them out." orders the President.

"ARE YOU SAYING WOMEN CAN'T DO IT TOO?" responds his psycho bitch secretary.

"Oh my god, you're retarded." He responds.

CUT BACK TO THE DIPSHITS

The two boys hear voices outside the room.

"We gotta go man!" exclaims Tim.

"I know, let me think this through!" responds Sam.

""Open up, we got the place surrounded!""

"Oh god Sam, we're screwed!" says Tim.

"BRAINBLAST!" yells Sam.

The two boys tear their way through the cage and release the spider thing. They break through the door while riding it. The spider rips the guards to shreds. The two boys ride off into the Artic Wilderness.