Darios, objectively the greatest fire emblem character of all time, was also my favorite chacter.

My heart sank so deep into my chest that a concave cavity developed on the front of my torso when I was forced to abide by the capture of Darios at the end of chapter 14. Ejected from the map by mysterious heroes, Mars, Sheada, and Tzatziki, in the wake of an onslaught of immensely powerful dark reinforcements, I knew there was no alternative to leaving him behind. I knew in my heart that the choice to leave Darios and the legendary shield of flames, the most important thing of all time, which was attached to his arm along with 4 of the 5 legendary Gleamstones needed to complete it was the right one strategically, no matter the consequences. Luckily, the greatest lords in the franchise swiftly formulated a plan to rescue him. Instead of simply re-entering the fortress like lambs to the slaughter, they would regroup on top of a really big tree. After reading a children's book, they knew that in addition to gaining the high ground on the enemy with this exercise, as the tree was very high in the air, can't get much higher than that, they would also be able to obtain the incredibly powerful weapons that waited them at the top of the canopy. This was a show of tactical prowess that I thought only my favorite tactician of the Fire Emblem franchise, Yang Wenli, could pull off. I was honestly taken aback by this showing of strategy, and it, along with the other genius tactical choices made the twin lords of this game cement them as the series' greatest protagonists. After a grueling duel with Voldemort on top of the big tree (thank Nagger for casual mode, amirite?), I watched in awe as Bannaniner and Bannanina brandished their new weapons, banishing the shadowy fog that enveloped the sky. "This is it!" I thought triumphantly, "This is exactly the power necessary cleave through the fort holding my dear, dear Darios hostage!" I pondered pensively, "I know he's been taken by the enemy, but he's the prince of Gristonne; there's no way they'd execute him so hastily. Though he's been fighting against them, surely they'd wish to understand his motives before simply killing him? Surely they must be planning to charge him with treachery to the crown after making him stand trial? Then again, I am fighting a nation that has has conscripted monsters, they're unpredictable; loose cannons, or baristas as they are known in fire emblem lore. I must call my most powerful weapons and units to conduct this rescue operation. I must prevail to rescue the greatest fire emblem character of all time. If I can be quick enough, working in tandem with my two favorite fire emblem protagonists, Bannaner and bannina, amd their new magical swords, I might just have a chance" (So, with the words of my favorite FE:4 waifu still ringing in my ears) I resolved to be ready for anything.

What I soon realized was that I was not ready for anything. I was, to put it in the immortal words of my favorite FE:3 waifu, "Abel and I run a small shop together back home in Altea. That was always my wish for us, but I'm glad to be here, helping you with this fight. After all, that's how I met you, and you've shown me all the different bonds people can share... I used to see things a bit childishly, but seeing that means I'm an adult now, right? Haha! In any case, thank you for all you've helped me to see. I'll keep counting on you!" , or "too immature" for those that don't understand her strange Akeenian dialect (Akeeneeya is where she comes from) ((Note: I do not know who Abel is, I haven't pulled him yet)). I knew that I needed to act fast, but the waves of enemies were nearly too much to bear. This game is far harder than any fire emblem game thus far, and it isn't exactly shy about it. My forces were taking on heavy losses and, truth be told, I was forced to restart the mission on easy mode. Even with the reduced difficulty, the enemy put up a resolute fight. After cleaving through what felt like thousands of enemies, taking fort after fort, and making my way further into the stronghold, I realized the potential danger in a sudden epiphany. "Mars must be the final hero necessary to complete the shield of flames!" The thought made me drop my New3dsXL as I lay in shock on my kitchen table. it all made sense. "This must be a trap by the enemy, they must be planning to trade Darios for the final Gleamstone!" This dastardly plot must be foiled! I rallied my spirit at that moment; I wouldn't allow such Machiavellian machinations to stand. Time was running out, and my high blood pressure accentuated the pain that my incessant heart beat caused to my body and spirit alike. I controlled Bannaner as he skillfully interrogated the enemies that guarded the depths of the citadel. His genius deduction abilities led the party to a southern fort, where Darios' cell was apparently located. As the cell drew closer, I began to grow increasingly apprehensive. Could Darios truly be here? Could this be another trap? I steeled myself and continued. Mars led the charge as he effortlessly divided the bars of the cell in twain. A lone figure stepped forward. It was Darios. A wellspring of joy rose in my heart, returning my torso to its typical geography. Darios was saved! His deep, sexy voice rallied the troops and raised the unit's morale. We now had the courage to take the rest of the fort and recover the shield of flames! Controlling Mars, I effortlessly struck down the Mamkutes that guarded the throne room, and after felling the final monster, the entire establishment was brought under Aristotelian control. At long last, we had recovered the shield, and as expected, Mars discharged his stone into it. It gloriously sprung to life, surging with unimaginable power. As Bannaner etched closer to it to grab it, the unthinkable happened. A top contender for the greatest plot twist in video game, nay, art history reared its ugly, unforshadowed head.

Darios attacked Bannaner.

As Darios clutched the shield in his hands amidst the confusion, my jaw began to slide about on the floor, out of the kitchen and into the attic, damaging precious family heirlooms in the process. My denial was overwhelming; I demanded an explanation. Instead, the betrayal emulsified itself as Darios revealed that this was his plan all along. His goal was to take the shield of flames and use it to obtain the power of the Chaos Dragon, a plot too original, non-vague, and logically sound for my meager brain to comprehend. The structure began to collapse, thank goodness, as even with every hero assembled there was no chance that I could have defeated Darios. He had me soundly beaten. I closed my New3DSXL. I haven't played the game in weeks, nor have I eaten since the incident. I often think to myself What could I have done differently? Was it meant to be this way? I write this post as a coping mechanism, and as a means to tell the fire emblem faithful that this game is not for the faint of heart. Basically, what I mean by this is,

FE5 IS FARR TOO DIFFICULT. LET THE ELITISTS THINK WHAT HEY MAY ABOUT IT, THIS GAME FATIGUES YOU, FORCED YOU TO COMPLETE INSANE TASKS TO COMPLETE CHAPTERS, AND MENTALLY BOMBARDS YOU WITH FAR TOO COMPLEX A STORY TO PROCESS (Though keep in mind that my last point could entirely be the fault of the Treehouse and its terrible localization attempt)