I'm a white, 5'6, 130lbs, kinda fit, averagely attractive (imho), introverted (INT-J) straight twink with brown hair and garbage eyesight. I'd like a dominant woman within four hours from Livermore, aged 18 to early 30s, to make me her cuddly and obedient husband. The gist of this post is that I'm super accommodating and ready to love and cherish excessively. Naturally, you would control the pace of the relationship. I'll send SFW pics first if you can send your own in response. I have no interest in hookups, online relationships, or non-monogamy.

Your needs, wants, comfort, and satisfaction will be my obsession. I like driving and I want to make myself convenient for you, so if you allow me to, we'll meet in your town and I'll drive us wherever you want while you control the music and AC. All I ask is that you're available all day and that we generally split the costs. Unless you tell me to take the lead, I'll follow you and do as you say while you make every decision for us. We would hopefully end the day snuggling somewhere cozy while watching cat videos or just talking. We can cuddle in the back seat of my car or on your bed, or on mine if you happen to be nearby. I'm normal and can be trusted with knowledge of where you sleep. You will be the sole instigator of physical contact. I won't try to pressure you into or suggest doing anything sexual, though in this post I'll get into what I'd do if you made the suggestion.

I'm generally a people pleaser, but when it comes to you, that would be an understatement. I love the idea of serving a woman and catering to every desire she has, but I'm not looking for selfish entitlement or a TPE dynamic. I want respect and appreciation that is expressed clearly and lovingly. You could have nearly full control over typically joint decisions as well as some decisions that would typically be mine to make, like what I wear. I want to feel like your best friend most of the time, and your enthusiastically submissive servant for the rest. I want to treat every day like it's your birthday so I can spoil you.

About me:

I'm into animals, programming, crimes, piano, shooting, and cycling. Most of that is untrue. I write a program once every few months. I bought a decent piano years ago and have been procrastinating learning how to play. I don't even own a bicycle anymore since the one I stole got stolen. Rather than having hobbies, I have fixations that last a month but that I think about returning to constantly for years, like game development, 3D modeling, music creation, lock picking, mechanical tinkering, or card counting. The only consistent hobbies I have are watching youtube, eating the skin off my lower lip, and imagining how great everything would be if I was the president. I currently spend most of my time stacking paper and talking to myself.

I'll get back into gaming if you need a subby pocket medic who calls you mommy in voice chat :3. I like nature but I really only go outside to go to work. I like trying new things, but I'm not motivated to go out alone. I think watching sports is cringe, but I'd participate. I'm into bands like AM, CWK, FOB, GA, ID, Joywave, Muse, RHCP, The Strokes, and TOP. I absolutely LOVE speeding, especially at night, on foggy or rainy winding back roads, while extremely tired and singing along to TOP.

I'm very organized and sanitary. As a radical introvert, I never choose to be around other people. I'm socially awkward, yet I was able to swallow a hot dog in front of all of my coworkers, so anything is possible. I only drink socially, which means rarely. I've never done drugs, but I'll try anything once. I have two cringe associate's degrees, but I'll get a bachelor's in something at some point.

I will touch any wild animal that lets me get close. Birds that let their guard down will be yoinked. I relocate insects that get inside if they're cool enough. I had a lengthy conversation with an injured seagull. The ungrateful cunt bit my face even though I was being so nice to him. I drove him to a wildlife sanctuary and gave him to the only other guy who apparently doesn't hate seagulls. I'm currently trying to catch the stray cats at work by placing canned sardines under a box that's propped up on one side by a stick. I'm waiting for them to get comfortable before I yank on the string attached to the stick, causing the box to fall and trap them underneath, at which point I'll hand feed them the remaining sardines and take them home. I think dog food smells good. Dolphins were always my favorite animal, and I won't denounce them for being a little freaky.

I'm only interested in dating a potential life partner, so we need to have similar religious and political beliefs. I'm an atheist/agnostic, so I'm not looking for anyone who's avidly religious. I'm fine with spirituality if it's a minor part of your life, but I'm not wasting my Sunday mornings. I voted for the fascist, and I'm looking for a fellow fascist, centrist, or someone apolitical. I don't talk about politics publicly because I want to get along with everyone, but privately, I'm very annoyed by wokeness. I don't agree with the Republicans on everything. For example, while I hate Democrat politicians and the media, I hate fetuses much more. Sometimes I get so angry while thinking about fetuses that I have to take my revolver out of my desk and grip it really tight for a few minutes until I calm down.

About you:

The most important thing about you is that you're nearly as intelligent as me. The internet said I have an IQ of 135, which puts me in the 99th percentile. I don't expect you, as a woman, to be that smart, but you need to be able to decipher one of my secret languages and watch movies without needing me to explain the plot.

You need to be willing to communicate at all times. If there are no major incompatibilities between us, I believe we can solve all disagreements through respectful and healthy communication. I will always be open minded and straightforward about how I feel, though I find it hard to be brutally honest. I intend to never lie or be passive aggressive, and I would expect the same from you.

Loyalty and monogamy are incredibly important, so I don't want you if you have ever cheated or have even considered polyamory or cuckoldry. You should be disgusted by the idea of sharing your partner or making him watch from the closet as a much more attractive and virile man shares all over and inside you.

My only body requirements are that you're female and not officially obese. I don't care about cup size, height, hair color, or whatever, though if you're a tomboy who could choke me out, I'll pant and say awooga as my eyes pop out of their sockets and steam comes out of my ears. I'd like to regularly accompany you to rock climbing gyms, shooting ranges, trails, tennis courts, or whatever you can think of, and we could be each other's motivators at the gym.

I'd love to belong to a badass woman who would join me to investigate a noise in the middle of the night, mag dump the intruder as he's running away, reload and mag dump him again, and liquify him with acid. It would be so hot if you could pay the bill at a restaurant without tipping, because tipping is stupid but I'm too much of a bitch to be the one to not tip. You should also love animals and be willing to touch them with me.

Long term:

The whole point of dating for me is to eventually get married. I'd wait at least a year before popping the question, and I have no problem with you asking instead. I don't believe in saving sex for marriage, but if you're the one for me, and you want me to prove my devotion by waiting, I'd be happy to. I don't care about my last name, so I'll gladly take yours. I actually don't care about my first name either, so you can pick a new one for me if you want. You could control the finances as long as you do enough saving and investing.

My dream is to own a small house on a few acres with a bunch of animals, complete with the perfect woman who will always know that I love her and am so happy to belong to her. I'll be realistic, but I want cats, a husky, fish, chickens, ducks, goats, bees, and an adorable jumping spider. I'm not talking about a whole ass farm, just a nice variety of pets, some of which I can suck eggs out of. I also want a shooting range and a vegetable garden. All of our trees will bear a different fruit. I'm not planting any cringe trees that take our water and give us only dead leaves and worthless oxygen in return. We could also just live in a suburb if you want, since that all seems like a lot of work. Regardless, we will NOT have a lawn unless we have goats to eat it, which is my biggest requirement. Grass is for boomers, and it's fucking stupid. I'm not cutting that shit every week just to waste water to make it grow back. We'll have moss, and that's final. Moss and I are a package deal, so If you don't like moss, I don't like you.

I want kids. I'd like to adopt, but I don't want the government up my ass because you shouldn't have to share it. We could make a few or just steal newborns from people who don't deserve them, then say they came out of you. I'll get a vasectomy whenever we decide to cease production. We're not just gonna give our kids brainrot machines so they leave us alone. I want to actually be a good parent, so I'm gonna feed them supplements and make them expand the vast tunnel system under our house, to build character.

Love languages:

I've never been in a relationship so all of this is theoretical. All of the love languages make me feel fuzzy, but physical touch is my favorite. You can invade my personal space whenever you want. You can wait until we get comfortable or break the ice by sneaking a finger up my ass. If you want to cuddle, don't hesitate, because I do too. We can spend hours cuddling and I'll beg you to stay a little longer when it gets late. I'd appreciate any small physical interaction, like if you held my hand while I'm driving or hugged my arm while sitting next to me.

I'd love to provide unprompted acts of service to let you know that you're always on my mind. I'd run errands for you, show up with your favorite drink, learn how to massage you, or really do whatever I think will make your day better. Despite wanting to be mostly equal, if you end up working more than me, I'll be your assistant and make sure you're completely free of all other obligations. I'll do anything I can to ease your pain and help you relax during your period. It's so cringe that you have to deal with that. If the Christians are right, that dumb bitch Eve is gonna catch these hands the moment I see her, that fucking cunt.

I'd give you gifts, but only thoughtful ones. I think cut flowers and diamonds are stupid. I don't like wasteful traditions, so don't expect an expensive wedding ring from me. I'm saving money to buy us a house, not a rock. Still, I'd love to give you meaningful gifts, without being limited to the few days every year when I'm expected to. I'd probably save them to surprise you with after a bad day.

Affirmation makes me super uncomfortable because I feel like I never deserve it, so you should force me to get used to it. I want to erase any stupid insecurities you might have, and I want you to convince me that you're glad I exist. Every morning I'd let you know that I'm thankful to have you next to me, or that I wish you could be next to me if you're not. I'd express my gratitude whenever you do something for me, on top of regularly expressing my appreciation of your company.

I want to spend as much quality time with you as possible. For me, it's sad to try new things alone. I think new experiences are better when they're shared with someone special. I want to go everywhere and try everything with you, then have long conversations that go on for hours after we say we should be asleep.

Consent:

You deserve to always feel safe and in control of your own body and to have your boundaries respected. I also want to feel safe and respected (though not always in control), so I'd delight in the opportunity to give you my consent for anything intimate. I think it's really sweet and sexy to let your partner know that you care more about making them feel safe and listened to than you do about wanting to fuck. You don't need my consent to grab my arm or something, but I'll get yours before touching you at all. You're all but guaranteed to get a lengthy cuddle session with me if you ask, but I understand that going somewhere private with a guy from the internet can be scary, so I'll understand if you need more time for that.

I'll actually cry if I feel like I made you feel afraid or disregarded. Eventually we would fully belong to each other, but for now I'll be so diligent in getting your consent that you might get annoyed. If you tell me beforehand that you want our first date to be platonic, but you predictably start getting carried away due to my flawless body and unmatched rizz, I'll kill the momentum and give you time to consider whether things are moving too fast for you. I don't want you to regret anything that happens between us. There's always next time to decide that we should go further, especially if we've been drinking. I'm not a male feminist, but men who think with their dicks are cringe. I genuinely don't want to have sex with anyone who isn't super enthusiastic and completely sure that they want me.

Sex:

I'll wait very patiently until you're ready, but to make sure we're compatible, you should know about this stuff now. At any point, if you feel like you've read too much, just skip to the conclusion.

My hard limits are the obviously gross stuff, severe sadism, findom, extreme ageplay (the creepy kind), cuckoldry, and polyamory. Please stay away if you're into that stuff. If you're willing to be in a monogamous relationship, but polyamory or cuckoldry appeals to you even a little, then I'm not interested in you. If you tell me on our 10 year anniversary that you've secretly always wanted to use me as a toilet or change my diaper, I'm leaving with the kids. I also don't like humiliation, degradation, chastity cages, TPE, or anal, but it's okay if you do, and if you wanna don the strap I'll bounce on it and moan like a girl.

I'm actually kinda demisexual. I can recognize when a human woman is conventionally attractive, but I've never been tempted to stare at or "mentally undress" one of you as every other guy apparently does. I've also never cared about tits or ass. Maybe I'm just a low T beta bitch. I'm actually way too easy to turn on physically due to my lack of experience, but the emotional connection is what I'm really interested in. I don't even need sex, but it's fun, healthy, and a great way to bond, so I'd love to have a woman with a crazy high libido who can push me into the bedroom every day and drain me like a succubus.

I'll always use full protection until we both get tested, with no compromises aside from kissing, which I'll do with unparalleled passion. I don't have any STDs, and I don't plan on having any to share with my future soulmate. I'll get tested too even though I know I'm clean, because you deserve to have that peace of mind. Until then, I'd do as you say while staying safe.

If we get intimate, your cuddles, affirmation, and company are all I would need in terms of reciprocation in the beginning. Honestly, I'm a little scared to put my dick in someone before having a solid feeling that they're gonna matter to me for a long time, though I don't know if I would still feel that way in the moment. I feel vulnerable when I think about receiving that kind of pleasure from someone. I'm more comfortable with the thought of giving pleasure. In fact, I really want to give pleasure, so if thinking about reciprocation makes it harder for you to give in, I'd be happy to dismiss the possibility of it right away so we can both focus on you all night. If I like you, I'll be excited to please you any way you ask. I'll stay as long as you want to give you as many orgasms as you want. If you just hold me, encourage me, and instruct me, then becoming an expert in pleasing you will be enjoyable for both of us. I have almost no experience, but I'm apparently a good kisser, and I'm completely willing to do as I'm told, exactly as I'm told to do it. I'll humbly trust that the only person who knows how to best please you is you, so I know I would be able to give you a wonderful night. With all that being said, please don't lead me on just so you can use me for sex. If I'm gonna be your sex toy, I'll need to know that this is heading somewhere, because I don't plan on only ever giving pleasure forever.

As a service-oriented sub, providing service is my biggest turn on. I can dom if you order me to, but it feels natural to be womanhandled. If you want me to do all the work, you can command me or let me respond to your body language. If you want to take full control, you can push me down and use me as your toy. I want to be whatever you need me to be in order to give you all of the pleasure you deserve. Once we're official, my entire body will belong solely to you, and any part of it will meet any part of yours for as long as you command. Through it all, I'll be in ecstasy over the thought that you are too. I can beg desperately for reciprocation or just shut up and enthusiastically enjoy my role as your source of pleasure. We can focus on me if you'd like, but I may beg for your permission to serve you first. I'll belong to you completely, so I'll only act the ways you want me to and you'll always get what you want from me in the end.

For specific fetishes, I like gentle femdom, foreplay, edging, orgasm control, overstimulation, teasing, begging, praise, cunnilingus, creampies, breeding, body worship, aftercare, and mommy/mistress/puppy/good boy talk. I'd like to experiment with bondage, pegging, choking, CNC, light pain, and absolutely anything else I haven't mentioned that doesn't make either of us feel unloved or inadequate. I'm incredibly turned on and motivated by involuntary reactions to pleasure like twitching, throbbing, moaning, muscle contractions, and facial expressions. When it comes to your body, I'm mostly excited by your face, pussy, and brain (so cringe). Still, while those parts are what spark my interest the most, I will gladly kiss, lick, nibble, grab, and caress every inch of your skin.

While I don't want to wear a cage, I like being teased with the threat of chastity and I'm open to using it as a form of punishment if necessary. My pleasure should be earned, then dispersed at your discretion. You can promise me that you'll reward me after I give you ten orgasms. I'll get more and more excited, then at ten, you'll order me to continue, which I'll do until told otherwise. Every time you cum, I'll beg for my turn while you tease me for my horniness and say you'll consider giving it to me if I beg harder. You'll scold me if my hands leave your body and wander towards mine, so I'll have no choice but to continue pleasuring you as I leak precum and desperately thrust into nothing. If you graciously decide that I was a good boy who deserves a reward, you'll definitely be able to tell how thankful and excited I am. My reward would be fully received very quickly, which is okay, because I'm able to receive multiple. If my tongue was somehow insufficient, which would be based solely and rightfully on your opinion, we'll skip to cuddling. I want to know that when you call me a good boy and give me my release, it's because I truly earned it by being everything you need.

If you'd prefer to comfort me instead of doing the female superiority thing, that's just as good. You can ride me slowly as you hold me and softly tell me that you'll always be here for me. I'll tell you I love you and you'll say "Shhhh, I know you do. You're such a good boy, just relax for me." I'll do as you command and lay there as you pet me and whisper things that make me feel completely and unconditionally loved. I'll whimper with every exhale, and you can call me cute and encourage me to cum inside you. I'll whine out "I'm getting close mommy" (or mistress or whatever you prefer to be called) and you'll say "It's okay. Let it all out for Mommy. Good boy, I love you so much. You're my perfect little pet and I'll always be here for you."

I hope that, like me, you're aroused both by the idea of me being yours to exploit and being yours to nurture. If I've had a long day, your mommy instincts should kick in and drive you to comfort me. When you're justly establishing your dominance over me instead, I don't want to be insulted or made to feel worthless, rather, I prefer to be playfully teased and made to focus completely on your pleasure.

Every orgasm I have will require your permission. If you don't want to have sex during your period or for any other reason, I'll insist on waiting for you. I'll always be yours to use, but if you're not in the mood and you don't want me to try to get you into it, then we won't have sex. I'll be your sex toy. Sex will start and end whenever you choose, regardless of when I cum, not just because I can remain aroused through multiple orgasms, but because you deserve to have absolute control in the bedroom. I will never watch porn or masturbate, unless ordered to. I have no right to say you shouldn't masturbate if I'm not around, but you know we would both enjoy it if you've been ready for hours by the time I walk through your door. If you drag me directly to the bedroom, I won't waste any time doing what I was designed to do.

I'd like to try being completely bound and gagged so you know that I trust you even while I'm unable to resist or even utter an objection. You could do whatever you want to my body. You could edge me while I buck my hips in desperation, then use toys to overstimulate me while you watch me struggle and squirm. You could take off the gag and ride my face while a pool of precum forms on my stomach. We could combine it with CNC and breeding, as you force me to impregnate you. I like the idea of fulfilling my purpose by shooting my genes into the woman I was designed to mate with. I probably shouldn't pass on my short, socially anxious, stupid idiot genes, but we could pretend.

I'm genuinely not into feet. I may joke about sucking toes, but I also joke about being gay and sucking meaty cocks, and I only did that twice. I'm not into feet, but your entire body is beautiful and deserves to be worshiped, so I'll kiss yours. I just don't want to suck the sweat from your toes or get a footjob, because I don't have a foot fetish. If I did have a foot fetish, I'd like them a little sweaty from a short jog. You could shove them right into my face and I'd give them a big whiff and lick them from heel to toe, then I'd suck each toe for a full minute and trim your toenails with my teeth, but that's not for me.

Dick stats: 6.5 inches hard, 4 inches flaccid, 6 inches around, uncut gang, aggressive 40 degree curve, leftist, leaks like a faucet, has an extra hole, no refractory period, shaved (trying hair removal, pubic hair disgusts me), balls are 20x40mm (as measured with calipers). Also, I have lots of CUM in my BALLS that I need to get rid of so you can have a bunch when you leave. It's all perfectly good, I just have too much!!!

Conclusion:

I don't see myself as a fetishist just because I'm submissive. If a woman is submissive, that's "normal", but if a guy is, that's apparently "not appropriate work talk", and I'm supposedly "fired". I'm not looking for a kink dispenser, and I hope that the extensive detail in the previous section doesn't imply that I am. I'm just hoping that putting everything out there will help you decide if we're a good match. I want to have a good time with you at whatever pace you're comfortable with. I welcome whatever fun activities you have in mind, like going back to your place to cuddle and pet all your dogs (please).

If you're interested, tell me about all the things you think make us compatible, and whether you read all the cringe sexual stuff or skipped to the end at some point. Send me a good message with enough information about yourself so that I can easily respond to it. Don't make it anywhere near as long as this, because there are still a few things to get out of the way, and I don't want to waste your time. If we're not compatible or you're too far away, but your goofy ass read this whole post anyway, feel free to message me. I'm always open to improving myself by sharing perspectives. Let me know if I somehow missed something worth mentioning, or we could just chat.