I'm white, 5'6, 135lbs, kinda fit, average attractiveness imho, garbage vision, brown hair, hazel eyes, no tattoos or piercings, sparse body hair, slightly caked up, introverted, INTJ-T, and "inexperienced". I'm extremely stoic around everyone, but I would like to find a special woman to be vulnerable with.

No long distance, no quick hookups, I want to be in a strictly monogamous relationship with a dominant woman who wants to turn me into her perfect subby husband. You should be in your 20s or 30s and living within four hours from Livermore. I don't want to have sex until you want to, and I don't mind if that takes a while, but I hope you like cuddling. I can send SFW pics after a few messages if you can send your own in response.

On a date, I'll follow your lead and make decisions for us only when you want me to. Your needs, wants, and comfort are my top priority. I'd rather let you decide where we're going while I take mental notes on how to keep you satisfied. I'd like to drive you around while you play your favorite music for me, if you're comfortable with that.

We would hopefully end the day snuggled up somewhere cozy while we watch cat videos, listen to music, or just talk. The back seat of my car is perfect for cuddling, but we could meet up at your place instead if you want to. You will be the sole instigator of any and all physical contact. I'm content with just your company and I won't try to pressure you into doing anything.

I like driving and I want to make myself convenient for you. I don't want any favors in return for driving farther. All I ask is that we plan for a long date and we split the cost, so if I'm driving to you, you're paying for lunch.

I'm an extremely submissive guy and a people pleaser. I like the idea of catering to all of your needs and desires, but I'm not looking for a woman who is selfish and entitled. I want to feel appreciated, emotionally supported, and loved. I want you to respect me as your equal while I treat you like you're much more important than me. My opinions wouldn't be worth less than yours, though I'd often prefer to let you make the decisions whenever you want to.

About me:

I'm into animals, programming, crimes, watching animations, piano, shooting, scheming, and cycling. Most of that is untrue. I write a program once every few months, and usually get bored right after I get it working but before any debugging or UI development. I bought a decent piano years ago and have been procrastinating learning how to play. I don't go shooting because it's inconvenient. I don't even own a bicycle anymore since the one I stole got stolen.

My actual interests change every month, from gaming, to programming, to 3D modeling and game creation, to piano and music creation, to bitcoin, to lockpicking, to inventing electric heelys so I can float around instead of walking, to card counting. I guess it's currently cooking and nutrition, because I finally have to feed myself and there's too much fucking sodium in everything. The only consistent hobbies I have are watching youtube, eating the skin off my lower lip, and imagining how great everything would be if I ran the new world order. I currently spend most of my time on that grind - stacking paper, being a sigma, treading water emotionally.

I can get back into gaming if you want me to be your subby pocket medic who calls you mommy in voice chat :3. I like nature but I don't go out much aside from work. I think watching sports is cringe, but I'd participate in them. I listen to alt rock and I'll suck you off if you're into bands like AM, CWK, FOB, GA, ID, Joywave, Muse, RHCP, The Strokes and TOP. I love speeding, especially at night, in fog or rain, while extremely tired, and on winding back roads. I like to make people uncomfortable by being vaguely threatening and unnecessarily hostile whenever I can, because it's funny.

I'm very organized and sanitary. I'm incredibly introverted. This would be one of the first times I've chosen to be around another person. I can swallow a hotdog, and have done so in front of dozens of witnesses. I only drink if I'm with a group and everyone's drinking. I've never done drugs, but I'll try anything once. I have two cringe associate's degrees, but I'll get a bachelor's in something at some point.

I will touch any wild animal that lets me get close. I try to snatch up birds that let their guard down. I relocate most types of insects that get inside. My last roommate was a gay spider. I took a 14 minute video of me holding and conversing with a seagull. It had a broken wing, so its escape efforts were futile. I was being so nice, but the ungrateful cunt kept trying to bite my face, and he succeeded. I drove him to a wildlife sanctuary and gave him to the only other guy who apparently doesn't hate seagulls. I'll get a cat as soon as I can. I think dog food smells good. Dolphins were always my favorite animal. I fully support them, and they shouldn't apologize for any of their scandals.

I made a list of my own personal red flags and flaws, which I'll only show if you ask. You can tell me about all of your baggage too if you want. I just do it to sabotage myself.

About you:

The most important thing for me is that you're intelligent and communicative. You need to be able to cuddle up with me on a recliner meant for one person and watch a movie without needing me to explain the plot. I can't spend my life with someone if they can't keep up in deep conversations about complicated topics. You need to be open minded and not prone to shutting down when you hear something you disagree with. I don't plan on having petty arguments or hiding my feelings and turning to passive aggression, so stay away if you always get into drama.

Loyalty and monogamy are incredibly important, so I don't want you if you have ever cheated or have even considered polyamory or cuckoldry. You should be disgusted by the idea of including a third person in our relationship.

I have no intrinsic body requirements beyond you being female and not officially obese. I'm not picky about cup size, height, hair color, or whatever, though tomboys who could beat me up and reach things I can't make me say awooga and pant like a dog as my eyes pop out of their sockets. It would be great if we could go out to a gym, shooting range, hiking or biking trail, tennis court, rock climbing gym, or whatever you can think of.

I'd love to belong to a badass woman who would join me to check out a noise downstairs in the middle of the night, mag dump the burglar as he's running away, reload and mag dump him again, and liquify him with acid. It would be epic if you could pay the bill at a restaurant without tipping, because tipping is fucking stupid but I'm too much of a bitch to be the one to not tip. You should also love animals and be willing to touch them with me.

Beliefs:

I'm an atheist/agnostic, so I'm not looking for anyone who's avidly religious. I'm fine with spirituality if it's a minor part of your life, but I'm not going to church on Sundays or flipping a coin to determine whether we indoctrinate the kids.

Politically, I'd call myself a Libertarian because I generally don't care about things that don't affect me. If I was going to vote (which won't happen because voting is a scam), I'd vote Republican. I disagree with them on abortion and some other things, but I despise the media and Democrat politicians. You only need to agree with me on a few specific issues. If you're a leftist, you definitely won't, so don't waste any more of your time. I say appalling, nefarious things that will make you want to kill me with a hammer.

Long term:

I wear ironic shirts that would get me written up at work, but you can dress me how you want. I'm not a femboy or a cross dresser, but you can make me wear anything. I'll be your canvas If you need someone to practice makeup, hair styles, or drawing on, and I'll go out in public like that because I don't care. My pet name will go on the collar of my catboy outfit. The cat ears will stay ON for my driver's license renewal photo.

I will modify my body and behavior in order to become your perfect husband. I'll do whatever I must to make myself more interesting, more athletic, more attractive in your eyes, a better lover, or in any way more worthy of being yours. I'll explain later, in excruciating detail, how generous I am, but I'll say now that I would be thrilled to learn every intricacy of your mind and body because I want to be the best at pleasing you.

There's no point in dating if there's no possibility of marriage. I'd wait for at least a year before popping the question, and I have no problem with you asking instead. I think waiting until marriage to have sex is stupid, but I'd do it for the perfect woman if I had to. I don't care about my last name, so I'll gladly take yours. I actually don't care about my first name either, so you can pick a new one for me if you want.

My dream is to own a small house on a few acres with a bunch of animals, complete with the perfect woman who will always know that I love her and am so happy to belong to her. I'll be realistic, but I want cats, a husky, fish, chickens, ducks, goats, and an adorable jumping spider. I'm not talking about a whole ass farm, just a nice variety of pets, some of which I can suck eggs out of. I also want a shooting range and a vegetable garden. All of our trees will bear fruit. I'm not planting any cringe trees that take our water and give us only dead leaves and worthless oxygen in return.

We will NOT have a lawn unless we have goats to eat it, which is my biggest requirement. Grass is for boomers, and it's fucking stupid. I'm not cutting that shit every week just to waste water to make it grow back. We'll have moss, and that's final. Moss and I are a package deal, so If you don't like moss, I don't like you.

I want kids. I'd adopt for moral reasons, but I don't want the government up my ass because you shouldn't have to share it. We could make a few or just steal newborns from people who don't deserve them, then say they came out of you. I'll get a vasectomy whenever we decide we're not making any more. We're not just gonna hand our kids brainrot machines so they leave us alone. I want to actually be a good parent and create successful, stable, happy people. I'm gonna inject them with supplements and make them expand the vast tunnel system under our house, to build character.

Love languages:

Since I've never been in a relationship, everything past this point is technically theoretical, but it sounds nice in my head. All of the love languages make me feel fuzzy, but physical touch might be my favorite. You automatically have my consent to touch or grab me anywhere, whenever you want. You can wait until we get comfortable or break the ice by sneaking a finger up my ass. I want to forfeit my own personal space to you. You can and should, regardless of our location, spontaneously pet me, squeeze me, nuzzle me, hold my hand, play with my fingers, draw on me, grab my arm and pull yourself into me, or beat me up and steal my car. Any contact makes me feel wanted and appreciated.

I'm ready to cuddle whenever you are. I'm so ready. You don't need to ask me at any point if I want to cuddle, because I'm telling you now to hold me and tell me to hold you, please. Without warning, you can set me up how you want me and use my body to make yourself cozy. Don't leave it up to me to remind you - just remember I said this and wrap your arms around me. We could do nothing but cuddle for hours, and I'll still beg you not to go when it gets late. You could stay the night with me in your arms and I'll make breakfast for us in the morning.

I hope you like acts of service, because I want to make your life easier. I'd love to let you know that you're always on my mind by doing things for you unprompted. I'd like it if you did the same, but if only one of us is going to get our hands dirty, you should relax. Even then, I'll wash my hands and give you a massage if you're feeling a little sore, not that I've ever given one. I'll do anything I can to ease your pain and stress when you're on your period. It's so cringe that you have to deal with that. If the Christians are right, that dumb bitch Eve is gonna catch these hands the moment I see her, that fucking cunt.

I love to give gifts, but only thoughtful ones. I think cut flowers and diamonds are stupid. I'm looking for a woman who's practical, not materialistic or wastefully traditional, so don't expect an expensive wedding ring from me. I'm not gonna be able to buy us a house someday after wasting my money on dumb shit. Still, I'd love to constantly show up with your favorite drink or something to remind you of me when we're apart. I'm used to getting shitty gifts, but you would know me better than anyone else, so it would be nice to receive something once in a while.

Affirmation makes me super uncomfortable because I feel like I never deserve it. Maybe it would be different coming from you. If I trust you to always be honest with me, I hope I'd enjoy receiving compliments from you. If it's still awkward for me, you should just affirm me whenever you want until I get used to it. I want to make you feel appreciated at all times, and I never want you to forget it, so I'd like to give you affirmations every day. I want to cure your insecurities and make you feel as perfect as I hopefully see you. I want to make you feel like a stupid idiot for doubting yourself and I want you to convince me that you're glad I exist. I want to start every morning we're together by letting you know that I'm thankful to have you next to me, and every morning we're apart by excitedly checking my phone to see if you're awake before letting you know that I wish you were next to me.

I want to spend as much quality time with you as possible. I want to go everywhere and try everything with you. Whenever I try something new, it makes me a little sad to think about how I'm doing it alone. I think that new experiences are better when they're shared with someone special. When we're tired from going everywhere and doing everything, I want to have long conversations with you - the kind that we say we're gonna end when we see it's already past midnight but that ends up going on for another two hours.

Consent:

I think consent is super hot, and I promise I'm not just stating what I think you want to hear. I hope that, by writing so personally and extensively, I come off as genuine enough to probably be telling the truth about this. I want to establish a special connection with you, and that starts with mutual respect for each other's bodily autonomy. I kind of have a fetish for making you feel listened to and appreciated. I also want to feel that way, so I'd love to get the opportunity to give you my consent for anything more intimate than cuddling.

I understand that I'm probably stronger than you, and that you've possibly met a few guys who don't take consent seriously. I could comfortably get in your car the second I meet you and step into your house in a city I've never been in without feeling any fear. It's a shame that you likely can't do the same, but I hope I can quickly make you feel safe around me.

I will never cross the limits you set for me. Without trying to sound like a "nice guy", I couldn't possibly respect your consent any more than I do. I'll hate myself twice as much as you do if I betray your trust. I'll actually cry if I feel like I overstepped your boundaries and made you feel afraid or disregarded. I'm very cautious, to the point where you might get annoyed. Someday we should fully belong to each other, with enough trust and understanding to treat each other's bodies as our own. Until then, I want to make sure you feel safe and valued by always asking for your consent. As I said, you already have my consent to be touchy, but I would never assume that I have yours. I'll ask for your permission to initiate any type of physical contact with you.

If you tell me beforehand that you want our first date to be platonic, but you predictably start getting carried away due to my flawless body and unmatched rizz, I'll kill the momentum and give you time to consider whether things are moving too fast for you. I don't want you to regret anything that happens between us. There's always next time to decide that we should go further, especially if we've been drinking. I'm not a modern day feminist, but I think men who think with their dicks and are overbearing with their advances are extremely cringe. I genuinely don't want to have sex with anyone unless they're extremely confident that they want it.

Sex:

I'm only here because dominant women are hard to find. I want to stress that I'm not overly horny, I'm just trying to find my perfect life partner. Sexual compatibility is obviously an important factor, so here's some info on that.

My hard limits are the obviously gross stuff, feet, humiliation, degradation, *severe* pain, CBT, chastity, cuckoldry, forced bi, findom, ageplay, TPE, and polyamory. Please stay away if you're into that stuff, especially anything non-monogamous. If you're willing to be in a monogamous relationship, but polyamory or cuckoldry appeals to you even a little, then I'm not interested in you. If you tell me on our 10 year anniversary that you've secretly always wanted to use me as a toilet or fuck another guy while I watch, I'm leaving with the kids. I think anal is gross. If you get nothing out of it we can just never go there, but if you wanna don the strap I'll bounce on it and moan like a girl.

I'll always use full protection until we both get tested, with no compromises aside from kissing. I don't have any STDs, and don't plan on having any to share with my future soulmate. It's not personal, since I don't even know you exist yet. I'll obviously get tested too even though I know I'm clean because you deserve to have that peace of mind.

I'd categorize myself as slightly demisexual. Whenever I see a hot human woman, I can recognize that she is conventionally attractive, but I've never been tempted to stare at or "mentally undress" her as all other guys apparently do. I've also never cared about tits or ass. I might just be a low T beta bitch. I'm not impossible to turn on. It's actually way too easy due to my lack of contact, but the emotional bond is what I'm really interested in.

I have a low libido and high self control. I could honestly go without sex indefinitely. My urges are really just suggestions, and are very easy to ignore. If a woman doesn't save me soon, I'll swallow a handful of oxys and wrap rubber bands around my balls until they fall off. The clock is ticking. Still, sex is fun and healthy, so I'd love to have a woman with a crazy high libido who can push me into the bedroom every day and drain me like a succubus. You may be the one to initiate most of the time, but I'll be glad you did.

I'm happy with anything we can do together. If you like having your nipples sucked or you let me give you an orgasm, or five, but you're uncomfortable with touching me like that, that's ok as long as we can cuddle afterwards. I'm not trying to portray myself as a pushover, I just want us to bond at a pace we're both comfortable with. I don't need to get off to enjoy the experience. Being the one to give you what you want and feeling appreciated for it is good enough for me.

The rest of this post is explicitly about my fetishes. I feel like including it might undermine the cute and wholesome thing I'm trying to advertise, so I'll just stress that we could be months in and I could be crazy for you, but I'll still be waiting patiently for you to make your move, and I won't hold your modesty against you. You could read until you've read too much if you're curious, or just skip to the conclusion now.

As a service-oriented sub, providing service is my biggest turn on. I can dom if you order me to, but it feels natural to be womanhandled. If you want me to do all the work, you can command me or let me respond to your body language. If you want to take full control, you can push me down and use me as your toy. I want to be whatever you need me to be in order to give you all of the pleasure you deserve. All parts of my body belong solely to you, and they can meet any part of yours for as long as you command. Through it all, I'll be in ecstasy over the thought that you are too. I can beg desperately for reciprocation or just shut up and enthusiastically enjoy being your source of pleasure. We can focus on me instead if you'd like. I may beg for your permission to serve you first, but I can't refuse if you order me to relax. You must always get what you want from me in the end, because I belong to you completely and I love that I do.

As for more specific fetishes, I like gentle femdom, foreplay, edging, orgasm control, overstimulation, teasing, begging, praise, cunnilingus, creampies, breeding, body worship, aftercare, and mommy/mistress/puppy/good boy talk. I'm so incredibly turned on and motivated by involuntary reactions to pleasure, like twitching, throbbing, moaning, muscle contractions, and facial expressions. I'd like to experiment with bondage, pegging, prostate stimulation, choking, CNC, some light pain (receiving, I don't want to hurt you), and anything else I haven't mentioned that doesn't make either of us feel unloved or inadequate. When it comes to your body, I'm mostly excited by your face, pussy, and brain (so cringe). Still, while those parts are what spark my interest the most, I will gladly kiss, lick, nibble, grab, and caress every inch of your skin.

I did say I'm not into chastity, but I like being teased with the threat of it. I don't want to wear a cage, but If I fail to make you feel fully satisfied, then I have failed to earn my own pleasure. I should beg to be allowed to cum after only ten of your orgasms, or half an hour of eating you out. You can hype me up as we get close, then raise the requirement as soon as I reach it if you feel like it, all while constantly reminding me that you have complete control over my body. If you're done, we're both done, but if you graciously decide that I deserve my own release, I'll be eager to let you know how thankful I am. I'll be so thankful that my wonderful, generous mommy/mistress (whichever you prefer) loves me enough to let me cum that you'll have to push me down and force my reward onto me to stop me from excitedly kissing you all over. If you feel unsatisfied and ready to move on, you should just leave me to come down anticlimactically and think about how I can better serve you next time. I want to know that when you call me a good boy and give me my release, it's because I truly earned it by being everything you need.

Every orgasm I have will require your permission. If you don't want to have sex during your period or for any other reason, I'll insist on waiting for you. I will never watch porn or masturbate, unless ordered to. I hope you will always wait until you can use me when you need to get off. I have no right to stop you from masturbating if you're horny and I'm not around, but you know we would both enjoy it if you're extremely pent up when I get home. If you're clinging to me, desperate to have your needs fulfilled, I won't waste any time. You could order me to edge when we're apart so that I'm just as desperate. If I ever accidentally cum while edging for you, I will tell you immediately and make it up to you in any way I can.

If you'd prefer to comfort me instead of doing the female superiority thing, that's just as good. You can ride me slowly as you hold me and softly tell me that you'll always be here for me because I'm your perfect boy. I'll tell you I love you and you'll say "Shhhh, I know you do. You're such a good boy, just relax for me." I'll do as you command and just lay there as you pet me and whisper things that make me feel loved completely and unconditionally. I'll whimper with every exhale, and you can call me cute and encourage me to cum inside you. I'll whine out that I'm close and you'll say "Let it all out for Mommy. Good boy, I love you so much. You're my perfect little pet and I'll always be here for you."

I hope that, like me, you're turned on both by the idea of me being yours to exploit and being yours to nurture. Obsessing over your pleasure until I've earned my reward is extremely arousing, but so is the inverse of that. If I've had a long day, your mommy dom instincts should kick in and drive you to comfort me. When you're allowing yourself to be selfish instead, I don't want to be put down or made to feel worthless. I prefer to be playfully teased about how horny I am and how much I wish I could cum as you remind me that your pleasure is infinitely more important, rather than insulted and degraded.

Back to the topic of things I'm not into but kinda am. I'm genuinely not into feet. I may joke about sucking toes, but I also joke about sucking dicks, and I only sucked dick twice. I'm not into feet, but your entire body is beautiful and deserves to be worshiped, so I'll kiss yours. I just don't want to suck the sweat from your toes or get a footjob, because I don't have a foot fetish. If I did have a foot fetish, I'd like them petite and a little sweaty from a short jog. You could shove them right into my face and I'd give them a big whiff and lick them from heel to toe, then I'd suck each toe for a full minute and trim your toenails with my teeth, but I'm not into that.

Dick stats: 6.5 inches hard, 4 inches flaccid, 6 inches around, uncut gang, 40 degree curve, leans left, leaks like a faucet, has an extra hole, no refractory period, shaved (trying hair removal, pubic hair disgusts me), balls are 20x40mm (measured with calipers)

Conclusion:

I don't see myself as a fetishist just because I'm submissive. If a woman is submissive, that's "normal", but if a guy is, that's apparently "not appropriate work talk", and I'm supposedly "fired". I'm just trying to find my perfect match. Our date can be totally platonic. I'll focus on giving you a good time and lots of attention. I don't expect you to do anything you're uncomfortable with, but I hope we can cuddle extensively. I welcome whatever fun activities you have in mind, like going back to your place and petting your dogs (please).

If you're interested, tell me what you like about me, as well as whether you read all that cringe or skipped to the end at some point. If you make your message super long, there's a 92% chance that you will regret wasting all that time once I tell you a bit more about myself. If we're not compatible or you're too far away, but your goofy ass read this whole post anyway, feel free to message me.