I'm white, 5'6, slim, kinda fit, 135lbs, probably 4-6 in attractiveness, garbage vision, brown hair (currently short), hazel eyes, no tattoos, no piercings, sparse body hair, introverted, INTJ-T, and "inexperienced". I tend to push people away and show no emotions, but I would like to find a special woman to be my sensitive, vulnerable, authentic self with.

No long distance, no quick hookups. I'm looking for a dominant woman within three hours from Livermore for a strictly monogamous relationship. I'm willing to stay platonic for a while as long as we're exclusive and we can cuddle. I can send SFW pics after a few messages if you can send your own in response.

I like driving, so I don't mind heading your way every time. We can meet at your favorite spot, then I'll drive us around if you're comfortable with that. If we can't think of anything to do, I suppose we could use my grappling hook to trespass onto and fall off of a roof. We would hopefully end the day snuggled up somewhere cozy watching cat videos or something. I keep my car clean and comfortable, so the back seat is always an option, or I can drive us back to one of our places. It could go beyond that, which is 110% your call, and there's no rush.

On our first date I'll follow your lead wherever we go and make decisions for us only when you want me to. Your needs, wants, and comfort will be my top priority and I'll be taking mental notes on what I need to do to keep you happy. I expect no favors in return, except if I'm paying for gas, you're paying for dinner. I'm egalitarian on finances.

I might be a submissive guy, but I'm looking for a woman who respects me as an equal. In a relationship we'll both have a say in most decisions, but I'll still defer to you often because I want to please you. I won't settle for someone who is selfish and entitled, but I want to give more than I take in a relationship with a woman who will truly appreciate me.

About me / About you:

I'm into animals, alt rock (AM, CWK, FOB, GA, ID, Joywave, Muse, RHCP, The Strokes, TOP), programming, crimes, watching animations, piano, shooting, and cycling. I can get back into gaming if you want me to be your subby pocket medic who calls you mommy in voice chat :3. I occasionally do some tinkering with mechanical stuff, electronics, and software, but ultimately get bored and move on to some other shit. I like nature but I don't go out much. I think watching sports is cringe, but I'd like to play tennis or something. My biggest hobby is making people uncomfortable. I like to be vaguely threatening and unnecessarily hostile whenever I can, because it's funny. I only drink if I'm with a group and everyone's drinking. I've never done drugs, but I'll try anything once. I have two associate's degrees, but I'll get a bachelor's in something at some point. I currently spend most of my time working. Basically, I'm on that grindset - stacking paper, being a sigma, treading water emotionally.

I'm looking for a woman in her 20s who is intelligent, affectionate, cuddly, non-dramatic, monogamous, and hygienic. Loyalty and communication are incredibly important, so stay away if you've ever cheated, are even slightly interested in polyamory or cuckoldry, or always have petty arguments. I have preferences, but no intrinsic body requirements beyond you being a female with a healthy physique. I'm not picky about cup size, height, hair color, or whatever, though tomboys who could beat me up and grab things I can't reach make me say awooga and pant like a dog as my eyes pop out of their sockets. Someone to accompany me to a gym, shooting range, hiking or biking trail, tennis court, or whatever you can think of would be great. I want a woman who would join me to check out a noise downstairs in the middle of the night, mag dump the burglar as he's running away, reload and mag dump him again, and liquify him with acid so he can be flushed. Shared music taste would be perfect.

You should love animals and point out nearby wildlife to me so I don't miss it. I will touch any wild animal that lets me get close. I try to snatch up birds that let their guard down. I relocate most types of insects that get inside. My last roommate was a gay spider. I can show you a 14 minute video of me holding and conversing with a seagull. It had a broken wing, so it couldn't escape me. I was being so nice, but the ungrateful cunt kept trying to bite my nose, and he succeeded. I drove him to a wildlife sanctuary and gave him to the only other guy who apparently doesn't hate seagulls. I'll get a cat as soon as I can. I think dog food smells good. Dolphins were always my favorite animal. I fully support them, and they shouldn't apologize for any of the scandals they've been involved in.

I made a list of my own personal red flags and flaws, which I'll only show if you ask. You can tell me about all of your baggage too if you want. I just do it to sabotage myself.

Beliefs:

I'm an atheist/agnostic, so I'm not looking for anyone who's avidly religious. I'm fine with spirituality if it's a minor part of your life, but I'm not going to church on Sunday or flipping a coin to determine whether we indoctrinate the kids.

For politics, if I was gonna vote (which won't happen because voting is a scam), I'd vote Republican every time. I disagree with them on abortion and other things, but I despise the media and Democrat politicians. I'd call myself a libertarian because I don't care about things that don't affect me. Since I'm serious about finding a wife, I won't date a leftist.

Long term:

I usually wear ironic shirts that would get me written up at work, but you can dress me how you want. I'm not a femboy or a cross dresser, but I'll wear anything you put on me regardless. I'll be your canvas If you need someone to practice makeup or hair styles on, and I'll go out in public like that because I don't care. Whatever pet name you give me will go on the collar of my catboy outfit. The cat ears stay ON for my driver's license renewal photo. I could also modify my body and behavior in order to become your perfect husband. I'd complete tasks to make myself more interesting, more athletic, more attractive in your eyes, a better lover, or in any way more worthy of being yours. I'll explain later in excruciating detail how generous I am on the loving front, but I'll say now that I would dedicate extensive amounts of time and energy to learning the intricacies of your body and desires.

There's no point in dating if there's no possibility of marriage. I'd wait for at least a year before popping the question, and I wouldn't mind if you asked instead. I think waiting until marriage to have sex is stupid, but I'd do it for the perfect woman if I had to. I'd gladly take your last name to show my devotion to you, and because I don't care about my own. I actually don't care about my first name either, so you can pick a new one for me if you want. I'll also get a vasectomy once you decide you want me to.

My dream is to own a small house on a few acres with a bunch of animals, complete with the perfect woman who will always know that I love her and am so happy to belong to her. I'll be realistic, but I want cats, a husky, fish, chickens, ducks, goats, and an adorable jumping spider. I'm not talking about a whole ass farm, just a nice variety of pets, some of which I can suck milk and eggs out of. I also want a shooting range and a vegetable garden. All of our trees will bear fruit. I'm not planting any freeloader asshole trees who take our water and give us only dead leaves and worthless oxygen in return.

We will NOT have a lawn unless we have goats to eat it, which is my biggest requirement. Grass is for boomers, and it's fucking stupid. I'm not cutting that shit every week just to waste water to make it grow back. We'll have moss, and that's final. Moss and I are a package deal, so If you don't like moss, I don't like you.

I want kids. I'd adopt for moral reasons, but I don't want the government up my ass because you shouldn't have to share it. I'm not a cringe breeder with a petty instinct to continue my bloodline, but we can make a few babies if you want to. If you really don't want to be pregnant, I'd never push that on you, so we could just steal a newborn from someone who doesn't deserve it and say it came out of you. When we do have a kid, we're not just gonna hand them a brainrot machine so they leave us alone. I want to actually be a good parent and create a successful, stable, happy person. I'm gonna inject them with supplements and make them expand the vast tunnel system under our house, to build character.

Love languages:

Since I've never been in a relationship, everything past this point is technically theoretical, but it sounds nice in my head. All of the love languages make me feel fuzzy, but physical touch might be my favorite. You automatically have my consent to touch or grab me anywhere, whenever you want. You can wait until we get comfortable, or break the ice by sneaking a finger up my ass. I want to forfeit my own personal space to you. You can and should, regardless of our location, spontaneously pet me, squeeze me, nuzzle me, hold my hand, play with my fingers, draw on me, grab my arm and pull yourself into me, or beat me up and steal my car. Any contact makes me feel wanted and appreciated, and I'd love to get extremely close. I'm ready to cuddle whenever you are. I'm so ready. You don't need to ask me at any point if I want to cuddle, because I'm telling you now to hold me and tell me to hold you, please. Without warning, you can set me up how you want me and make yourself cozy. Don't leave it up to me to remind you - just remember I said this and wrap your arms around me. We could do nothing but cuddle for hours, and I'll still beg you not to go when it gets late. You could stay the night with me in your arms and I'll make breakfast for us in the morning.

I hope you like acts of service, because I want to make your life easier. I'd love to let you know that you're always on my mind by doing things for you unprompted. I'd like it if you did the same, but if only one of us is going to get our hands dirty, you should relax. Even then, I'll wash my hands and give you a massage if you're feeling a little sore, though unsurprisingly I have never given one. I'll do anything I can to ease your pain and stress when you're on your period. It's cringe that you have to deal with that. If the Christians are right, that dumb bitch Eve is getting fed 20 knuckle sandwiches the moment I see her, that fucking cunt.

I love to give gifts, but only thoughtful ones. I think cut flowers and diamonds are stupid. I'm looking for a woman who's practical, not materialistic or wastefully traditional, so don't expect an expensive wedding ring from me. I'm not gonna be able to buy us a house someday after wasting my money on dumb shit, but if I can give you something that will make you truly happy, that's never dumb. I'd honestly love to give you something you'll enjoy at every opportunity. I'm used to getting shitty gifts, but you would know me better than anyone else, so it would be nice to receive something once in a while.

Affirmation makes me super uncomfortable because I feel like I never deserve it. Maybe it would be different coming from you. If I trust you to always be honest with me, I hope I'd enjoy receiving compliments from you. If it's still awkward for me, you should just affirm me whenever you want until I get used to it. I want to make you feel appreciated at all times, and I never want you to forget it, so I'd like to give you affirmations every day. I want to cure your insecurities and make you feel as perfect as I hopefully see you. I want to make you feel like a stupid idiot for doubting yourself and I want you to convince me that you're glad I exist. I want to start every morning we're together by letting you know that I'm thankful to have you next to me. I want to start every morning we're apart by excitedly checking my phone to see if you're awake, then letting you know that I wish you were next to me.

I want to spend as much quality time with you as possible. I want to go everywhere and try everything with you. Whenever I try something new, it makes me a little sad to think about how I'm doing it alone. I think that new experiences are better when they're shared with someone special. When we're tired from going everywhere and doing everything, I want to have long conversations with you - the kind that we say we're gonna end when we see it's already past midnight but that ends up going on for another two hours.

Consent:

I think consent is super hot, and I promise I'm not just stating what I think you want to hear. I hope that, by writing so personally and extensively, I come off as genuine enough to probably be telling the truth about this. I want to establish a special connection with you, and that starts with mutual respect for each other's bodily autonomy. Showing that I have that respect for you is the greatest way to prove that I want you to feel listened to and appreciated. I also want to feel that way, so I'd love to get the opportunity to give you my consent for anything more intimate than cuddling.

I understand it's extremely likely that I am significantly stronger than you, and that you've probably met a few guys who don't think that consent is important. I could comfortably get in your car the second I meet you and step into your house in a city I've never been in without feeling any fear. It's a shame that you likely can't do the same, but I hope I can quickly make you feel safe around me.

I will never cross the limits you set for me. Without trying to sound like a "nice guy", I couldn't possibly respect your consent any more than I do. If you end up hating me because I betrayed your trust, I'll hate myself twice as much. I will actually cry if I feel like I overstepped your boundaries and made you feel afraid or disregarded. It makes me really fucking sad to imagine a woman who allows herself to be vulnerable around me, just for me to take advantage of that. This is all just to say that I'm very cautious, to the point where you might get annoyed. Someday we should fully belong to each other, with enough shared trust and understanding to treat each other's body as our own. Until then, I want to make sure you feel safe and valued by always asking for your consent. As I said, you already have my consent to be touchy, but I don't assume I have yours. I'll ask for your permission to initiate any type of physical contact with you.

If you tell me beforehand that you want our first date to be platonic, but you predictably start getting carried away due to my flawless body and unmatched rizz, I'll kill the momentum and give you time to consider whether things are moving too fast for you. I don't want you to regret anything that happens between us. There's always next time to decide that we should go further, especially if we've been drinking. I'm not a modern day feminist, but I think men are cringe when they jump at any opportunity to get their dicks wet with no consideration for how that might affect the other person. If having sex with you would make you feel emotionally exploited, then I'd rather not, but I am open to some kind of sexual contact on the first date if we both really want it.

Sex:

I'm only here because dominant women are hard to find. I want to stress that I'm not a degenerate, I'm just trying to find my perfect life partner. Obviously sexual compatibility is a factor, so here's that stuff.

My hard limits are the obviously gross stuff, feet, humiliation, degradation, *severe* pain, CBT, chastity, cuckoldry, forced bi, findom, ageplay, TPE, and polyamory. Please stay away if you're into that stuff, especially anything non-monogamous. If you're willing to be in a monogamous relationship, but polyamory or cuckoldry appeals to you even a little, then I'm not interested in you. If you tell me on our 10 year anniversary that you've secretly always wanted to use me as a toilet or fuck another guy, I'm leaving with the kids.

I'll always use full protection until we both get tested, with no compromises aside from kissing. I don't have any STDs, and don't plan on having any to share with my future soulmate. It's not personal, since I don't even know you exist yet. I'll obviously get tested too even though I know I'm clean because you deserve to have that peace of mind.

I'd categorize myself as slightly demisexual. Whenever I see a hot human woman, I can recognize that she is conventionally attractive, but I've never been tempted to stare at or "mentally undress" her as all other guys apparently do. That might just be me being a low T beta bitch. I am, however, turned on by shows of affection and intimacy, and I know sex will be much more fulfilling after we've bonded emotionally.

I have a low libido and high self control. I could honestly go without sex indefinitely. My urges are really just suggestions, and are very easy to ignore. If a woman doesn't save me soon, I'm gonna take a handful of oxys and wrap castration bands around my balls until they rot to be free of the temptation once and for all. The clock is ticking. Still, sex is fun and healthy, so I'd love to have a woman with a crazy high libido, who can push me into the bedroom every day and drain me like a succubus. I probably wouldn't initiate very often, but if you give me a hint, or I think you need it, I'll get in the mood real quick. Once our clothes come off, I'll be just as horny as you, and you'll be my entire world until you're satisfied.

I'm probably the weirdest straight guy for saying this, but boobs don't excite me. I don't care a bit about how big they are, I don't seek them out, and I feel nothing when I see them on a screen. What I do like about them is the exclusivity and trust that is expressed by you revealing them to me and their usefulness in pleasuring you, which is my biggest turn on. I think anal is gross, so if you get nothing out of it we can just never go there, but if you wanna don the strap I'll bounce on it and moan like a girl, or you could rail me until I'm walking funny. I don't care about big asses either. When it comes to your body, I'm mostly excited by your face, pussy, and brain (so cringe). Still, while those parts are what spark my interest the most, I will gladly kiss, lick, nibble, grab, and caress every inch of your skin.

I'm happy with anything we can do together. If you like having your nipples sucked or you let me give you an orgasm, or five, but you're uncomfortable with touching my penis, that's ok as long as we can cuddle afterwards. I'm not trying to portray myself as a pushover, I just want us to bond at a pace we're both comfortable with. It doesn't have to be equal for it to be a positive experience for me, but you still need to convince me through your actions that you like me if you want me to come back.

The rest of this post is explicitly about my sexual organs and desires. I feel like including it might undermine the cute and wholesome thing I'm trying to advertise, so I'll just stress that we could be months in and I could be crazy for you, but I'll still be waiting patiently for you to make a move, and I won't hold your modesty against you. You could read until you've read too much if you're curious, or just skip to the conclusion now.

As a service-oriented sub, providing service is my biggest turn on. I can dom if you order me to, but it feels natural to be womanhandled. If you want me to do all the work, you can command me or let me respond to your body language. If you want to take full control, you can push me down and use me as your toy. My goal is to be whatever you need me to be in order to give you all of the pleasure you deserve. All parts of my body belong solely to you, and they can meet any part of yours for as long as you command. Through it all, I'll be in ecstasy over the thought that you are too. I can beg for reciprocation or just shut up and enjoy my role as your source of pleasure. If you'd like, we can focus on me. I may beg to be able to serve you instead, but if you order me to relax, I can't refuse. Even if you want me to be a little bratty, you must always get what you want from me in the end.

As for more specific fetishes, I like gentle femdom, foreplay, edging, orgasm control, overstimulation, teasing, begging, praise, cunnilingus, creampies, breeding, body worship, aftercare, and mommy/mistress/puppy/good boy talk. I'm so incredibly turned on and motivated by involuntary reactions to pleasure, like twitching, throbbing, moaning, muscle contractions, and facial expressions. I'd like to try bondage, hypnosis, pegging, prostate stimulation, primal play, choking, CNC, and some light pain (receiving, I don't want to hurt you), with someone I trust. I hope we could experiment with anything I haven't mentioned that doesn't make either of us feel unloved or inadequate.

I love earning my own pleasure. I'd be disappointed in myself if my service wasn't good enough to warrant nurturing from you in return. If I fail to give you everything you want in bed, you should just leave me to come down anticlimactically and think about how I can better serve you next time. That will never happen, because I will impress you with my services every time. I want to know that when you call me a good boy and give me my release, it'll be because I truly earned it by being everything you need.

I did say I'm not into chastity, and I don't want to wear a cage, but I like being teased with the threat of it. If I fail to make you feel fully satisfied, then I have failed to earn my own pleasure. I should keep count of your orgasms, and beg to be allowed to cum after only ten, or after half an hour of eating you out. You can promise me that I'll get my turn and hype me up as we get close, then raise the requirement as soon as I reach it if you feel like it, all while constantly reminding me that I have no say in the matter. If you're done, we're both done, but if you graciously decide that I deserve my own release, I'll be eager to let you know how thankful I am. I'll be so thankful that my wonderful, generous mommy/mistress (whichever you prefer) loves me enough to let me cum that you'll have to push me down and force my reward onto me to stop me from excitedly kissing you all over.

Every orgasm I have will be with you and will require your permission. If you don't want to have sex during your period or for any other reason, I'll insist on waiting for you. I will never watch porn or masturbate, unless you're involved and enjoying that in some way. I hope you will do the same by always using me when you need to get off. I have no right to stop you from masturbating if you're horny and I'm not around, but you know we would both enjoy it if you're extremely pent up when I get home, with you clinging to me, rushing me to the bedroom, and ripping my clothes off. I'm not including edging, which we should both do to make ourselves lust for each other even more when we're apart. If I ever accidentally cum while edging for you, I will tell you immediately and make it up to you in any way I can, if it's the last thing I do.

If you'd prefer to comfort me instead of doing the female superiority thing, that's just as good. You can ride me slowly as you hold me and softly tell me that you'll always be here for me because I'm your perfect boy. I'll tell you I love you and you'll say "Shhhh, I know you do. You're such a good boy, just relax for me." I'll do as you command and just lay there as you pet me and whisper things that make me feel loved completely and unconditionally. I'll whimper with every exhale, and you can call me cute and encourage me to cum in you. I'll whine out that I'm close and you'll say "Let it all out for Mommy. Good boy, I love you so much. You're my perfect little pet and I'll always be here for you."

I hope that, like me, you're turned on both by the idea of me being yours to exploit and being yours to nurture. Obsessing over your pleasure until I've earned my reward is extremely arousing, but so is the inverse of that. If I've had a bad day, your mommy dom instincts should kick in and you should want to make me feel like the world could never get me down as long as you're here to comfort me. When you are allowing yourself to be selfish, I don't want to be put down or made to feel worthless. I prefer to be playfully teased about how horny I am and how much I wish I could cum as you remind me that your pleasure is infinitely more important.

Back to the topic of things I'm not into but kinda am. I'm genuinely not into feet. I may joke about sucking toes, but I also joke about sucking dicks, and I only sucked dick twice. I'm not into feet, but your entire body is beautiful and deserves to be worshiped, so I'll kiss yours. I just don't want to suck the sweat from your toes or get a footjob, because I don't have a foot fetish. If I did have a foot fetish, I'd like them petite and a little sweaty from a short jog. You could shove them right into my face and I'd give them a big whiff and lick them from heel to toe, then I'd suck each toe for a full minute and trim your toenails with my teeth, but I'm not into that.

Dick stats: 6.5 inches hard, 4 inches flaccid, 6 inches around, uncut gang, 40 degree curve, leans left, leaks like a faucet, has an extra hole, no refractory period, shaved (trying hair removal, pubic hair disgusts me), balls are 20x40mm (measured with calipers)

Conclusion:

I don't see myself as a fetishist just because I'm submissive. If a woman is submissive, that's "normal", but if a guy is, that's apparently "not appropriate work talk", and I'm supposedly "fired". I'm just trying to find my perfect match. Our date can be totally platonic. I'll focus on giving you a good time and lots of attention. I don't expect you to do anything you're uncomfortable with, but I hope we can cuddle extensively. I welcome whatever fun activities you have in mind, like going back to your place and petting your dogs (please).

If you're interested, tell me a bit about what you think would make us compatible, as well as whether you read all that cringe or skipped to the end at some point. I have something else for you to read which will probably make you lose interest in me, so don't waste your time writing something super long like this. If we're not compatible based on something I wrote or you're too far away, but your goofy ass read this whole post anyway, I'd still like to hear from you.