First time poster!! Be nice to me lol

Here’s the thing I don’t understand fully so I need some in-site. I have a husband of 2 years, we have a 1 year old together and life is good and I am the happiest I ever have been and I KNOW he loves me based off his emotions and how he treats me BUTTTTTTT he does NOT ever pleasure me! Ever! No fingering, no head. Nothing. He will lick my nipples and play with them every once in a while. He has maybe given me head the count of 2-3x total in our entire 2 years… I have brought it up countless times and he just blames the fact that he has little to no experience with it but he’s legit amazing at it!! I get off so fast because it will be MONTHS without an orgasm. This feels big now to me. I stopped feeling the emotional connection of feeling wanted and sexy by him. Sex feels like a chore on top of him NEVER initiating it. If by chance he does initiate, he will be ready to do it right then and there (couch, garage, guest room, etc) and it’s so quick I don’t even get wet anymore or have time too. There’s no foreplay for me. He gets countless BJs and he says it’s the best he’s ever had (I know I’m good 🤪) and the fact that I love to please him. But he does not seem to ever want to please me? Why should I asked to be please? Now that I have brought it up several times, if he end up doing it, I always feel like he feels forced by me or something. It doesn’t feel natural. I asked him if it was me. Do I smell? Do you just not like it, or the taste? He says all is fine and he loves it and he swears he will do it but then never does… last convo was a couple months ago. Then last night, our 2 year anniversary night, I showered all up. Got all in sexy pjs that he likes. We smoked and got in bed and he wanted me to blow him… so after a little while we kiss and make out (rare) and he was hinting for me to get on… I tried to guide his fingers down towards my lady bits and he started to caress my body and then just get on top and start going. Ugh. I legit felt my body give up. Like why…

Now I find myself watching porn and getting myself off after he goes to sleep.

I can’t see myself without him but all the men I ever dated and had sexual relationships with, always pleasured me and enjoyed me getting the most pleasure. It’s so confusing and frustrating!