I have the constant desire to be the "bottom" to the point where when propositioned by a gay guy I seriously considered it/almost went thru with it. (He gave up cause I was being to indecisive) However I in no way find men attractive, in fact I don't see how anyone could find us attractive. Also I've always felt more comfortable being submissive to girls than being the dominant force in the relationship. I know that this isn't particularly odd or strange, but it still has been leading me to a lot of self loathing. Like I feel like I'm some kinda freak for not being attracted to guys but wanting the thing that pretty much only guys want to do to be done to me. Also it's only when I'm really aroused, the post nut shame is damn near suicidal with this tbh. Basically I just want someone to reassure me that I'm not a freak who's going to spend eternity alone because my wires got crossed somehow and now no girl will ever be into me.