I (21F) have never really been interested in relationships so i don’t know if I just haven’t met someone who would be a good partner or if I’m just not attracted to people at all? I’m a white female, do I subconsciously just want to belong to something or am I actually not attracted to people?

I never understood crushes as a kid and never had any on my classmates ( male or female). I do find people attractive and and will admire actors that are hot, and I know I like getting attention from others when I dress nice. Never anyone specific, but in general. Non-sexual intimacy is something I would like, but sexual intimacy has always been meh to me at best. I’ve kissed multiple people and it’s always slimy, even with friends it’s not really something I enjoy, yet forehead kisses and cuddles are comforting. I’ve never had sex, yet enjoy reading erotica when feeling horny though I never bring myself to climaxing. When reading books that have sex scenes I don’t usually care for them and rather want to get back to the plot or prefer dad to black scenes. The idea of doing anything with another persons genitals or them doing anything to me makes me feel gross. But thinking of it in third person in erotica is fine.

Am I just wanting to be part of a community or could I actually be part of it?